Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Damn, Chris Brown Wasn't Leading That High Speed Pursuit

So, if you missed the news that Chris Brown is now a dishonorably discharged ninja warrior, it's OK. It's hard to turn on the TV, the radio, the cassette player, the newspaper, the dishwasher, the laundry machine, or the shower without hearing someone's opinion on A-Rod and his steroid use.

It's insane. It's already the most obnoxious news story of the past year. What sucks is that it came at one of the worst times of the year for sporting news. NOTHING exciting is going on, so when the greatest baseball player, possibly of all-time, admits to steroid use, ESPN inevitably begins to blow their load and talk about it till our ears begin gushing blood.

SO, if that's all you've known and heard, it's understandable if you missed the news that Chris Brown violently assaulted his girlfriend Rihanna the night before the Grammy's.

Chris Brown is the popular, sexy (not in my opinion), lovable R&B singer who's had a wonderful past year. His status as a rising, primo, Hollywood Artist is about to take quite the massive knock though, as it's being reported that Brown got into a domestic dispute, resulting in severe injuries for Rihanna.

According to police reports, Rihanna suffered "severe injuries, including two huge contusions on her forehead. The contusions look like an MMA fighter or something, like she was growing devil's horns."

Do you comprehend how crazy that is? Rihanna, gorgeous Rihanna, somehow was beaten so badly that she now looks like Ron Perlman and Hellboy. There were also conflicting reports about police charging Brown with assault with a deadly weapon even though no weapons had been recovered.

Well, update to that...Supposedly Brown is a registered martial artist. As in, he's Steven Seagal Jr. And he opened up a can of "Hard to Kill" on his beautiful girlfriend.

Supposedly Brown suffered as a child when he watched his father beat his mother and he vowed to be a better man. Well, that obviously didn't pan out too well.

Random details keep coming out about this story and if I find pictures, I'll post them. I despise people like Chris Brown and hope he's f*cked for life. Police are hoping to charge him with a few felony charges, and I can only hope things get worse for him as this goes along.

Too bad this driver from Chicago, who led police on a slow-speed pursuit through Hollywood, wasn't Brown. It would have been nice to see it end with a few gun shots through the white Bentley's window.

(PS - I still haven't found out who this driver is. Police believe it to be a high profile suspect, who many first thought was Brown. With Illinois plates, and the fact that the guy driving a $150,000 car that can do 180mph, only seems to be going 40mph, my guess is that it's Rex Grossman. It's clearly someone who is mentally handicapped and can't do anything right. I'll update this one when more details emerge.)

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