Saturday, March 5, 2011

Fantasy Nascar Power Rankings - Week 3

Power Rankings - Week 3

1. Team Hinton (195 pts, 1-1) [4]

2. Team Eric (187 pts, 1-1) [1]

3. Team Lawton (156 pts, 1-1) [2]

4. Team Phelan (153 pts, 1-1) [6]

5. Team Martino (142 pts, 2-0) [3]

6. Team Mayer (150 pts, 1-1) [8]

7. Team Campbell (128 pts, 1-1) [5]

8. Team Farnsworth (147 pts, 0-2) [7]

Phoenix was a good race. But I worried for a bit that it was going to be a huge letdown. It's hard to follow the thrill of Daytona. Nascar puts a trillion eggs in their basket in Florida, then they follow it up by dragging us out into the desert where guys build five second leads and race endless circles around cactus' 312 times. Daytona has so much excitement built into it. It's the kickoff of the season, it's the most storied track in the sport and the racing can be top notch and extremely unpredictable through the very last lap. The week after Daytona always has the potential to be EXTREMELY boring. Fortunately it wasn't. At Phoenix there was intrigue, some terrible driving and some good racing. You can't go to Bristol after Daytona because you can't use up all the good tracks in the first ten races of the season. You have to weather the great tracks with the decent. Phoenix provided plenty of entertainment. I was watching a wall slowly leak water into the basement during a terrible rainstorm so maybe that contributed to the intensity but either way, after two weeks, Nascar has a good season on its hands. And as we head into Week 3 of the Fantasy Nascar Season, the power rankings change, just as the first two weeks of the Sprint Cup Series has.

The temptation to put Team Phelan in first place after Jeff Gordon's victory at Phoenix was tempting but I decided to not be a prick yet and try and keep some semblance of reality involved in the rankings. For now at least. Suck it up, take the serious with the occasional inappropriate joke and enjoy it. You nominated me to write this damn thing so here it is.

Team Hinton sits atop the power rankings with the most points in the league and a 1-1 record. Jimmie Johnson has 4 wins in his past 6 races at Las Vegas. Kyle Busch has 1 win and averages a finish of 11.7 at the track. He's only finished outside the Top 15 once in seven races. And Las Vegas is his hometown. Speaking of Busch, I hope he felt good last weekend when Jeff Gordon bumped and ran him last week to take the Phoenix victory. It was an example of good driving, unlike Kyle displayed to Carl Edwards who will inevitably pay him back. Probably this weekend. Marcos Ambrose qualified second for Vegas by the way. Does Team Hinton start his fourth driver this week?

*This week's PR was written before Scott Hinton e-mailed the league, notifying us that he was starting the Australian Devil and sitting Martin "I am not NEARLY as good as my younger brother is at racing" Truex

Speaking of Carl Edwards, he continues his dominance in Nascar. He probably would have won at Phoenix if his car was able. Instead, he turns his focus to Las Vegas where he qualified 3rd. He won there in 2008. And after qualifying, the Fords are showing they'll be a force at Vegas. Carl Edwards is the number one drive in Nascar right now. Just maybe he'll dump Busch this week and kill Busch at his own track.

*PS, Fords are SUPER shitty cars. My parents owned one and vowed never to buy one again after it began breaking down the first few months we owned it. Fix Or Repair Daily. Will Smith made fun of Fords in Men In Black. Scott Campbell is the only person I've ever met that had a good Ford. And his was purple. Is Nascar the only place Ford seems to get it right?

Team Lawton sits in third place but he'll probably be in last next week. Mark Martin is chilling complacently (and he did win the Nationwide race after Brad Keselowski blew a tire) but Jamie McMurray is struggling and Junior is all over the place. His point totals per week aren't going to hold up all season as team's get more consistent and others bottom out. Week 3 will be a good test for Sir Lawton's team.

Team Phelan is fourth. First place in people's minds, fourth for now. Jeff Gordon made Kyle Busch's wife look like a bitch on top of her pit box last Sunday. She thought her husband was in line for a victory, then Gordon clamped her legs and mouth shut and took his wife and team to Victory Lane instead. Matt Kenseth, who shits in Brian Vickers' dogs mouth, captured the Vegas poll in record time and looks to break his winless streak, which is even longer than Gordon's. Hopefully he'll also continue to perfectly assassinate drivers with his rear tires and fenders, much like Vickers claims he did at Phoenix. Team Phelan. Boom.

Fifth place brings us Team Martino. The Italian team. He is 2-0, the only undefeated team left after just two races. He's good because Denny Hamlin is good. Not Jeff Burton. Jeff Burton is very bad so far this year. Kasey Kahne is in between and could easily become Driver No. 2 for the Italian. Team Martino takes on Team Eric this week, a good test for both. If Team Martino wins and is 3-0, he might want to bolt for Formula 1 while he's hot.

Team Mayer sits in sixth. Kevin Harvick almost had another disaster at Phoenix but finished fourth. His receding hairline finished back in 7th though. Kurt Busch has a good chance at Vegas because he sleeps on the track at night and cuddles with his brother, thus the reason they consider it their "home" track. In reality though, Kurt is pretty bad at Vegas. In 10 races, he's finished Top-10 only twice and has a career average finish of 22nd.

Team Campbell parties in seventh position with Tony Stewart and Joey Logano. Brian Vickers is still un-clotting his blood and brain so he doesn't count as a third driver yet. Stewart had a great run at Phoenix until he decided two tires was a great idea but he can always threaten at Vegas. Vegas is his kind of town. He'll probably party with strippers and homeless people on Friday and Saturday, do some blow, knock a guy through a window with a foot-long chicken hoagie, go to sleep and get up and race on Sunday. And still finish well.

This week's last place spot goes to the honorable Team Farnsworth. He is 0-2 and has 71 points on the season. Breaking up the Three B's has been a disaster for his team and his drivers really suck right now. His best driver is AJ Allmendinger. Which is good for AJ Allmendinger and bad for Team Farns. Greg Biffle sucks right now and sits in 28th place in the standings. But he could maybe win at Vegas. He's never won there before but he has 5 Top-10's in seven races. Regardless, Team Farnsworth needs a lot of help right now. His point totals are just enough to win but also just enough to lose each week. He needs a big week or he should probably phone it all in and drop all of his drivers and quit the league.

PS, this new point system should make for a very interesting season. It will cause great fluctuation each week because drivers HAVE to finish consistently or they bomb out in the points, thus causing teams to have only two drivers to pick up the rest of the scoring. The problem is, if a team gets behind early in the season, making up the points for that segment will be difficult because there's a lot less points to go around this year. Should be fun.

PPS, a few years ago we went to Vegas for a senior trip at Dayton. Remember that a few of you? We met certain Nascar drivers like Michael Waltrip and Dale Jarrett. Remember how obnoxious Michael Waltrip was? He wasn't at all, but looking back upon it, I pretend he was. Know why? That HORRIBLE Aaron's Dream Machine commercial that he and Martin Truex star in. There is nothing in the world that I find worse than watching him shake his huge butt around in that stupid fire suit during raceday Sunday's. Ludicrous.

This Week's Victory Lane Pick is Kyle Busch. Jimmie Johnson is second, Jeff Gordon third, Carl Edwards fourth, Mark Martin fifth (Martin has 10 Top-10's in 13 Vegas races).

Best of luck this weekend gentlemen.