Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Dumping on Tuesday


Saw a Guitar Hero commercial at the bar the other night and couldn't hear it. It looked funny, had Bobby Knight in his underwear, and Metallica. I still can't decide if I like it. Lars from Metallica really does talk like a weirdo.

If you saw the clip of the Blackhawks/Canucks fight yesterday, you saw some awesome sporting carnage. It wasn't an overly bloody or physical set of fights but it was intense. The fact that 16 guys wanted to punch each others face in at the same time also was sweet. Now, we move to rugby fights. I played rugby for a while and I always marveled at how fights never broke out, considering you're encouraged to stomp on another player's face in certain circumstances. The teams sort of have a gentlemen's agreement not to punch each other in the face. Well, when one guy breaks that rule, it usually becomes crazy. Rugby is probably the only sport, other than hockey, where I feel even worse for the refs trying to break up the fight. Enjoy more highlights here.

One more awesome Nike Rugby clip.

I hate LeBron James because I hate Ohio. The fact he can do this though is incredible.

Mike Singletary could care less if your parents got divorced. He's gonna find out if you got over it, are ok with it, or are still acting like a loser because of it. Matthew Stafford apparently hasn't. The dude underachieved at Georgia and might become the Lions QB. He also just added himself to the list of people Singletary wants to spear. Dumb prick.

Here's an idiot. This can only happen in Ohio.

"Cops" is the best show ever. Whenever G4 has 6 hour marathons with "Cops", my TV channel doesn't change. "Inside the NBA" on TNT is also awesome. Here's some fun with the both of them.

Sean Avery still knows how to piss people off. Here's more proof that the NHL is my favorite sport to watch right now. Playoff hockey can't get here soon enough.

In a sport I more or less don't really care about, there's a guy named Lance Stephenson. He's pretty good but also a headcase. Check out his new show on MTV2 from Fader Films. I liked "Two-A-Days" a few years ago; this is obviously a bit different. If anything, watch it to see Stephenson try and fight everyone he ever plays. This kid needs a college coach bad.

Speaking of head coach, Kentucky still doesn't have one as of 3:42pm.

Best music video of the year so far? Where's the unedited version?

Lastly, I saw a picture of his ex-wife earlier today and it jogged my memory. Rony Seikaly was one awesome basketball player.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Hockey Fighting Can NEVER Be Banned




The Chicago Blackhawks played the Vancouver Canucks last night. The Blackhawks had been in the process of shitting lots of big bricks over the last few weeks while forward Patrick Sharp sat out with an injury. Once Sharp returned, the Hawks picked it back up.

The Hawks were sitting 4th in the Western Conference with the Canucks right behind them in 5th. After three periods, the Hawks trailed 3-0 and started to realize that not only might they lose home-ice advantage in the playoffs, they might have to face the Vancouver Canucks again in that series. So they forearm-shivered the Canucks' goalie, Roberto Luongo, in the face. And when goalies get forearm-shivered in the face, fights usually break out. For a brief while, I thought a goalie fight might happen but it never fully materialized. Fortunately, for the Hawks sake, they at least won the fighting portion of the game. Ben Eager made the Canucks' Kevin Bieksa look like he got in a fight with a tiger, while Alexander Burrows participated in the ultimate hockey bitch move by pulling hair. The end result of the brawl resulted in the hilarious image of six Blackhawks sitting in the penalty box.

Bad news: Hawks are tied for 4th with the Canucks holding the tiebreaker advantage. Good news: the teams really could meet again for a playoff series.

*Also, a side note, hockey fighting truly can't be banished. Our Monday Link Dump is going to include some random sports fighting clips and there is one noticeable thing about NHL fighting; it is allowed to happen. Hockey players are allowed to go at it, while the team watches, and the refs wait. Once a guy falls down or gets his face smashed in, the fight ends. It's a respectable thing that allows hockey to stand apart from other sports. It allows for a certain edge and outlet for certain situations in the game. The NHL cannot condone the banning of fighting.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Louis CK Makes The World Smarter


Comedians are hit or miss to me. I like Lewis Black because he's an energetic, angry asshole. I don't generally agree with his overall political associations but at least he's hilarious and entertaining when he makes his point. Plus, part of the time, his view on idiotic douchebags of the world falls right in line with mine. Bill Maher on the other hand, more than once, has driven me to the brink of a murder spree.

Louis CK falls under the enjoyable category. Ever since I heard Dane Cook was just stealing CK's jokes and slightly changing them, I invested time in watching his highlights. Louis CK tells it like it is and makes you laugh at all the dumb stuff that takes place in this world. People are generally absolutely retarded and Louis CK makes sure he makes fun of those people.

These clips are old clips that I've seen before but make for a perfect Friday. You watch these and you laugh and realize that our world may or may not be f*cked. This clip about the ungracious young pricks of our generation hits the nail on the head. People suck.

This clip is entertaining because it contains one of the single most hilarious lines in comedy stand-up history. See if you can figure out which line I'm speaking of. It's also funny because I'm taking a road-trip to Dayton today and if God wanted to punish us for all our wrong deeds, he'd make a deer jump out into the middle of the road during the trip and kill us. Hopefully that won't happen but this weekend is bound to include some wild sh*t. Dayton always does.

Ride these clips into your weekend and have a great one. I hope you and I am still alive on Monday.


More Movie Trailers


The following two movie trailers couldn't be on the further end of the spectrum.

"Hunger" is an award-winning film directed by Steve McQueen (not THE Steve McQueen) that centers on a political back-story and human sacrifice. It's being called a masterpiece for a debut film. It's actually meant to emotionally affect you.

"The Hangover" will never win an award other than one for having the best cameo scene in a movie trailer in recent memory. A few buddies wake-up in Vegas and can't find the groom. Hell breaks out from there. Zack Galifianakis is in it which instantly makes it awesome.

Like I said, two movies that couldn't be more different. But it's Friday...and no one gives a crap about what happens on Friday. So here's one more Zack Galifianakis classic clip. Write that down.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

More from SXSW


This was up on Fader yesterday and it's more highlights from the Levi's Fader Fort at South by Southwest. If you haven't already spent the last 9 hours of your life browsing through Fader and watching all the highlights from S X S W, then you are crazy.

This first clip is Kid Cudi performing "Day N Nite" with a little help from Kanye. It's an awesome version because Cudi flips it into his Crookers Remix halfway through.

Second, Peter Bjorn and John stopped by and did some stuff including their new song "Nothing To Worry About". My buddy Adam mentioned that whatever song PB&J opened with was by the far the coolest song he's ever heard from them. Either way, this is a great song and here it is live.

Special Thursday Link Dump...


It's been a little while since I did anything and for that I apologize. Life has been busy recently but that's not an excuse...There's been a lot of awesome stuff going on and I've had some grand plans, just unfortunately, not fulfilled. If you live anywhere other than a Taliban cave, you've probably seen most of the goodies somewhere by now. I missed my Monday Mark Morrison dump so here's some special goodies you may have missed.

- Boston sucks. I am a Yankees fan so I hate Boston. I'm glad Curt Schilling retired, because I hate his bloody socks. That said, this was something cool that happened in Boston. This goalie got pissed, swung his stick really hard, almost fell, then chucked what I believe was a milk crate onto the ice. The other excellent question is why the F there was a milk crate anywhere near the ice in the first place?


- Jordin Tootoo is a f*cking prick. He's been one of the NHL's biggest douchebags since the day he started playing. He picks fights, checks people randomly and runs away, and cheated on Kellie Pickler. He also sucker-punched Brad Staubitz of the San Jose Sharks a few months back. Staubitz remembered that and beat the living shit out of Tootoo's face a few nights ago. It was awesome.

- A woman thought that her boyfriend/ex-boyfriend was looking at child porn. So, while she was slightly intoxicated, she went to the police and turned in her laptop that she suspected her man had used to look up child porn. The cops took a gander around her computer and found some videos of some nasty stuff. It was the woman, spreading condiments on her crotch, letting her dog lick them off. The woman videotaped the acts when she was drunk, forgot to delete delete them and essentially turned herself in. Check out the story here and look at the police report. I love the fact that the filing officer had to write out the report and use all kinds of funny words that he invariably felt weird writing. And, no surprise, the lady was from Indiana.

- Spike Jonze is awesome. He is incredibly talented and never fails to come up with the coolest shit. He recently made music videos fun and pertinent again and is coming out with a movie soon. Here's the trailer for "Where The Wild Things Are" ...where the wild things are (Film Drunk)

- I put the "Crank 2/High Voltage" trailer up a while back and it was insane. Generally it's just as f'ing nuts as the first movie but it looks even more over the top. Now, you can watch the trailer at break.com and have your entire desktop begin to get destroyed. That's how intense the new flick is. It's a sweet trailer that makes you want to jump off a 46-story building and run people over with your car, but it's distracting because bullet holes and shockwaves on your desktop distract the shit out of you. Enjoy, again.

- NCAA Sweet Sixteen Basketball today:

Pittsburgh v. Xavier (Pitt over XU)
Duke v. Villanova (Nova over Duke in my bracket that matters)
UConn v. Purdue (UConn over Purdue even though UConn is distracted)
Mizzou v. Memphis (Mizzou over Memphis)

- Lastly, no more South Side Irish Parade in Chicago. People got too drunk, assaulted too many officers, and had way too much fun. I could care less because I never went. That just wasn't my thing. Plus I would have probably wanted to punch people's faces like Jordin Tootoo. And for the people that are "upset" about it, get over it. You can get drunk numerous other ways on St. Patrick's Day. You pricks.

Have a grand Thursday.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Update Coming Soon


Sorry...life's been rather busy. Trips are coming and work needs to be done. I'll have some stuff soon. Thanks for the patience. In the meantime, watch this video of Kanye from S X S W.

It's a cool version of the song...and there are 392 dudes on the stage helping him. Also there is a guy next to him who is signing for the deaf. I know there were people on stage doing sign language for Kanye when he performed in Chicago @ Lollapalooza this past summer...Maybe Kanye has a ton of deaf people that are fans. Who knows. It's just funny to see a 6' 4 240-lb black guy dancing and doing sign language for a room full of totally sweaty, dance-crazy, drunk people. But that's South by Southwest.

Also, here's a clip of Common, Erykah Badu, and Kanye all coming together for a little freestyle, and some of Common's hit "The Light". I've never been to S X S W but I know people who just came back and it's essentially the greatest time of your life. Sweat, incredible music, alcohol, parties, and Austin, Texas. It's pretty much unbeatable from what I hear. Definitely on the list of things to do once in life at least.

If you like these and need a lot more of a fill from SXSW, just look all over Fader's site. They had it covered from A-Z. Enjoy.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

NCAA Tourney Special (Chief Kickingstallionsims photo)


The NCAA Tournament kicks off in a little bit. Louisville, UNC, Pittsburgh, and UConn are the #1 seeds. In honor of people's favorite time of year, here's some highlights for the upcoming March Madness.

- Morehead State won the play-in game and gets to hang out in Dayton, Ohio for 4 extra days waiting to play Louisville on Friday. Their sleeping in bulletproof vests.

- Dionte Christmas plays for Temple. He has a cool name and is pretty damn good at basketball.

- Humpty Hitchens plays for Akron. LeBron James likes Akron. I hate Humpty Hitchens now.

- Chief Kickingstallionsims also is a cool name. And it's real. But he sort of sucks at basketball for being 7'1'' 265 lbs. He also plays for Alabama State which I'm pretty sure is a college anyone with an IQ of 12 could get into. But, it's the coolest name in the history of the NCAA tournament and he's huge, so whatever.

- Gary Wilkinson plays for Utah State. He's from Utah as well. So that means he's probably a mormon. Which also means he's older than everyone else in college because he had to have gone on a mission to find 14 wives and a higher power (that's what mormon's do right?). He's 26 and good at basketball too. Which means Utah State wins at least one game.

- Dayton will beat the West Virginia Hillbillies. Unless Brian Gregory does his patented hockey line change substitions never allowing any of his players to get into a rythym.

- DeMar DeRozan is a freshman @ USC. People said he was the most NBA-ready player in college basketball. He didn't play like it for most of the season...until the last few weeks. Which could mean big things in the tourney. Except Tim Floyd (who is legally retarded) is their coach...so nevermind.

- Jeremiah Dominguez is 5'6'' 150 lbs. He plays for Portland State, a team that many people think might surprise. In two weeks, he could be a fan favorite across the country.

- Louisville is who I picked to win it all. Gonzaga is going to take UNC bc Ty Lawson isn't totally healthy. UConn & Pitt are great but too inconsistent to finish things off. Blake Griffin has no one else to help him. Louisville, with the best coach in the game, will be your 2009 NCAA Champion.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Jason Cooking Hotdogs

I don't know what this video is about or if this kid is actually retarded or not. This Jason character has pages and pages of video with him doing the dumbest shit. There is no point to it. But it's funny. And people should laugh at funny stuff. All the time. Retarded or not. Thanks to Gordon for sending this.

Click here for Jason's youtube page of other ridiculous dumb videos.

Emmy Rossum is Hot!



I don't normally put picks of attractive chicks up because I leave that to other people. But, today, I figured what the hell. Emmy Rossum, who for some reason I thought was really attractive in the 'Phantom of the Opera' movie, has confirmed that she is indeed really attractive.

I understand that the fact I mentioned 'Phantom of the Opera' will most likely eliminate any further reading, but that will only benefit no one. Your eyes should feast themselves upon Emmy Rossum who was once cute and is now really hot. She can sing too which is an added bonus to the gorgeousness of her photos. As for 'Phantom of the Opera', women love musicals, clearly a reason dudes should know about some of them.

I don't really know the reason behind not putting beautiful ladies photos up on the blog, but don't think that it will happen more often now. I guess having a small crush on Emmy Rossum a bunch of years back came to fruition and I felt compelled to show everyone else that she's grown up.

It happens to everyone.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Gimme Da Gold


Not much today because I'm really busy with work. And busy drinking after work at a St. Patrick's Day event. In the meantime, if you watched yesterday's video about the Leprechaun in Mobile, Alabama, you understand that people WANT THAT GOLD.

Whether it's a crackhead climbing around in that tree or a real leprechaun, that gold can change your life. That idiotic flute-playing spirit wanderer cannot keep the gold away. This video is the perfect combination of ass-kicking beats and sweet lyrics. It's the only video you need to watch on St. Patrick's Day.

If you haven't watched yesterday's video, watch it first. Then watch this one.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Monday, March 16, 2009

Movie Trailer Monday!


“Terminator: Salvation” trailer. Updated Trailer. It really looks epic. Its understandable Christian Bale exploded on the set because this movie is beyond intense. We also get a glimpse of the specific Terminator (Sam Worthington pictured above).

“The Edge of Love” trailer. Keira Knightley. Sienna Miller. In a bathtub together naked. Enough said.

“Surveillance” trailer. David Lynch is the executive producer of this flick. He makes awesome movies and this one has Bill Pullman in it. It also looks psychotic and ridiculously disturbing so there’s lots of potential here.

Leprechaun in Mobile, Alabama


Tomorrow is St. Patrick’s Day. Since people will be too drunk to remember anything, these videos deserve to be viewed today. This is old, I know. But it’s a tradition to watch the news story about the “Leprechaun in Mobile, Alabama” because it’s the best video ever. It’s a bunch of retarded people in Alabama talking about a leprechaun that ‘they saw’. There’s one idiot who plays a flute to keep the bad spirits away while other people think the leprechaun might be a crackhead that got into some ‘bad shit’. It’s without a doubt, the dumbest news story ever told.

Coming in a not close second is a story about this woman’s weave. I don’t even know what the f*ck a weave really is still, but it supposedly saved this woman’s life. Her psycho ex-boyfriend started shooting at someone (her?) and hit her in the weave. The weave somehow stopped the bullet and she lived. Jesus. And the reporter is a handicapped robot.

The Mike Tyson Movie


He has a tattoo on his face, bit a man’s ear off, and could punch off a human beings head. His name is Mike Tyson. He has a movie about him coming out. And apparently its good.

Whether you can stand Mike Tyson or not, this almost has to be seen. For a while, he was the most insane human being on the planet. But now he loves everyone. Though I wish he could be a roommate on “Bad Girls Club” and punch through some of those people's faces.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Afternoon Update



Thanks to 411mania for informing us that the manliest movie in cinematic history is now growing even manlier.

Stone Cold Steve Austin will join Sylvester Stallone's new film "The Expendables". The film is centered around a group of mercenaries who go to a foreign land and attempt to overthrow an evil dictator.

There is no humanly possible way to add more intensity and dude action to this movie other than adding Steven Seagal to the cast. If you missed the previous story about this masculine-filled, neck-snapping adventure, check it out here.

**On a side note, I will be attending Stone Cold's induction into the Hall of Fame next month at Wrestlemania 25. It will be the single-most exciting moment in my life.

Joaquin Phoenix & His Homeless Beard


Joaquin Phoenix & his homeless beard attacked someone yesterday in Miami. Phoenix was doing another hip-hop show and some heckler in the crowd started talking smack with him. Phoenix then jumped off stage and attacked the guy. You can't see what happens. All you see is some lady in blue's boobs. It was probably staged like a WWE fight but who cares. Anytime a homeless drunk guy attacks someone it's great to see. The fact the homeless drunk guy is a former Hollywood actor is even better.

It's entirely understandable why Joaquin has gone off the deep end. His older brother, River, was a crazed drug addict who died at 23 and his sister, Liberty, married Casey Affleck. Obviously, some sort of mental-imbalance runs in the family. It just hit Joaquin a bit later in his life.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Hockey Fighting Is Always Cool


Earlier this month, Cam Janssen of the St. Louis Blues had a hockey fight. He drinks all the time and spends way too much time at bars so he fights a lot.

This wasn't a traditional hockey fight though. Normally, guys fall down off-balance or one guy lands a ridiculous shot and the other guy gives up. Or some idiotic loser stops the fight early because "fighting is bad and the world should be full of peace." But it can't be. The world is a violent, crazy place full of terrorists and people who watch 'Survivor'. People need to fight to put each other in their collective place. Thank God for people like Cam Janssen.

Cam Janssen not only drinks and plays hockey, he fights like Rocky. He has marathon fights that result in bloody knuckles and standing fans. He always manages to piss people off, make them swing away, then pound them until the other guy is too tired to fight any longer. Here's the fight from earlier this month. It's an eternity in the hockey fight world.

Here's another one. This was Janssen's fight from the other night. He had some whiskey on the bench, made love to some woman in the crowd, then decided he needed to fight someone. It was another epic title fight. It lasted for almost two minutes until the guy he was fighting said, "F*ck this. That dude's knuckles are all bloody and he won't stop punching me."

So thank you Cam Janssen. There's losers who are weak and dislike fighting and there are heroes who are godzillain in their love for destruction. You carry that torch. You are the reason hockey will (hopefully) never ban fighting.

Seriously, fighting is awesome.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Um, Some Facts About Yanni


Before you kill yourself and me, think about Yanni for a few seconds. He is Greek, used to have an incredibly sweet mustache, and probably slept with thousands of beautiful Greek women. So that makes Yanni the coolest guy on this earth. And last night, I caught myself watching that guy's TV special on WTTW. Did you know:

A) WTTW is like the 3rd best HD station around. They have an endless amount of cool sh*t to watch
B) Yanni is coming to concert in Chicago. So hide your mothers
C) Yanni graduated college with no formal music training and couldn't even read music.
D) Yanni set the national swimming record in the 50-meter freestyle competition in Greece.
E) Yanni has an absolutely gorgeous chick named Chloe singing with him. She's breathtaking. She can sing, she has the sexiest legs I've ever seen, and she can dance better than the JabbaWockeeZ. She's smoking. I couldn't turn the TV off.

Instead, America watches "American Idol" and 13 of the ugliest, least-talented jackasses parade around the stage and make out with dudes on the internet. No-talent ass clowns.

I apologize an infinite amount of times for making you think about Yanni (though you know you do every night). Watch this video, think about this chick, and know that we're going to be fine in the long run. Yanni's got us covered.

College Humor Prank War Response


A few guys from college humor are in a prank war. It started a while back and has developed into quite the war. A little while back, one of the guys pranked his buddy and his buddy's girlfriend while they were at Yankee Stadium. The girl never forgave either of them. It was awesome.

Well, a year and a half later, we have our response. Streeter, the victim of the previous prank, finally hits back at Amir. He used another sporting event and the help of about 18,000 people. Check out his response courtesy of College Humor and my buddy Tom who pointed it out.

We patiently await Prank 8.

Late Night Fun


Need to pass 5 or 10 minutes? Thanks to Liquid Generation, now you can find out what it's like to hang out in Lindsay Lohan's bedroom. It might not necessarily be disease-free, but you won't have to worry about catching anything. It's an interactive room providing insight into the daily adventures of society's most famous stick figure ginger. One item of note: Make sure you click the candle. Watch where the flame comes from (hint hint - the curtains match). Enjoy play time.

Stupid NBA Highlights


So, Dwayne Wade beat the Bulls last night. He stole the ball from a hapless Bull (John Salmons), ran down the court and launched a ridiculous 3-pointer with less than a second left in double OT to win the game. He should have won the game earlier but missed two free throws as the game was winding down which kept the Bulls in it.

I really don't care about the NBA or the Bulls right now, but something about this ending REALLY pissed me off. I feel like Dwayne Wade has had a luckier season than any player in recent memory. The guy is a GREAT basketball player. Great. But he was never this good. He got injured last year and barely played. Now, he's unstoppable. And the rest of his team blows. His ability and desire in LeBron James' body would be a frightening concept (yes Dwayne Wade wants to annihilate teams like MJ used to). And he's been wearing that absolutely retarded band-aid like Nelly used to. Jordan never did dumb sh*t like that.

Plus, I think I was really pissed because the Miami Heat's jerseys said 'El Heat'. They used a spanish-looking word font and for some damn reason put 'El Heat' on their jerseys. Apparently they've done it before with the intention of attracting more fans outside the U.S. Considering Miami is practically it's own Latin country, they might as well just change it for good. And they can put the player's names in Spanish too. It was retarded. And unfortunately, I noticed it AFTER the game had ended when I was already angry enough.

****

In other NBA boring news, here's a video of Portland Trailblazer Rudy Fernandez going up for a dunk, only to get whacked in the back of the head by Los Angeles Laker Trevor Ariza. Fernandez left on a stretcher and the teams exchanged quick shoves. Lamar Odom also left the bench in a traditionally dumb move that will inevitably get him suspended (he smokes too much pot and has an IQ of 17 so its not surprising). If the NBA allowed one fight per team, per week, the NBA would be so much cooler. Fighting giants in the NBA would make hockey fights look like the lingerie bowl. It needs to happen.

Sorry for the NBA tirade. The Bulls suck and so does the NBA. But these video's are entertaining and that's all that counts.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Mark Morrison Mondays


It's Monday. Mark Morrison's here. He's taking a dump. Dumping his links from the weekend. Enjoy.

- Kings of Leon, Depeche Mode, Beastie Boys, Jane's Addiction are all rumored to be taking part in Lollapalooza this Summer. The Killers & Gaslight Anthem are also rumored to be out there as well. No Mark Morrison yet.

- Lisa Lampanelli roasted Larry the Cable Guy last night. She made a Chris Brown/Rihanna joke. It was awesome. (Note that I despise Chris Brown for what he did. The fact that Rihanna may have gone back to him is sad, pathetic, and makes jokes about the situation ok)

- "Funny People" trailer starring Adam Sandler, Eric Bana, Leslie Mann, Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill. From Judd Apatow. It looks serious. And funny.

- China is trying to start a war with the United States. More importantly though, look at the photo of that US War Ship. That's not a ship. The United States clearly uses the secret vessel from Pierce Brosnan's "Tomorrow Never Dies" Bond movie in real life. That's why America is awesome.

- Another new 'Star Trek' trailer. Other than John Cho from Harold & Kumar, this movie actually looks decent. Saying that automatically qualifies me as a massive dork.

- Lastly, here's a turtle raping a shoe. Nothing less, nothing more.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Lil Wayne's New Kanye Video


So Lil Wayne's new video is out thanks to Jimmy Kimmel's You Tube page.

The video, from my interpretation, goes like this:

Lil Wayne goes to high school and sees a hot girl. He talks about her underwear. The hot girl spurns Weezy and hooks up with another dude. That dude gets her pregnant then ditches her for a life of crack cocaine and fat women. Lil Wayne goes on to make music. The hot girl raises her baby but gets bored and goes to a Lil Wayne concert. Then they have sex on stage. While Jonathan Davis from Korn, who's playing the drums, watches.

'Public Enemies' Trailer


The 'Public Enemies' trailer starring Johnny Depp & Christian Bale is finally online.

There are 2 highlights that stick out to me:

1) A quick flash of Lincoln Avenue in Chicago and the Biograph Theatre that was recreated this past Summer for filming.

2) The infamous photo of Dillinger in a Dayton, Ohio jail holding a placard before he was released from jail and immediately robbed a bank upon that release.

Dayton, Ohio, being my location of collegiate excellence, is an exciting thing to see on the big screen. Other than Wright-Patterson Air Force Base and the University of Dayton, Dayton leaves a lot to be desired. If you take nearby Lima, Ohio and it's most famous resident, former WWE star Al Snow, out of the occasion, Ohio basically has nothing.

I used to liken Dayton to Gotham City. There's the actual city of Dayton, the downtown area, where after 2pm, if you wander onto the wrong street, you'll get shot and stabbed 46 times. Then there's Oakwood, the lovely city just south of Dayton, where you can wander down the street and find gold bullions lying on the sidewalk.

Right smack dab in the middle is the University of Dayton (the Harvard of the Midwest). UD is basically the filter that keeps full-scale civil war from breaking out. You remove UD, and a nuclear riot is on your hands. It's the equivalent of taking Batman out of Gotham City. Bedlam.

That's bound to turn around though when you throw Johnny Depp and his mug shot on the big screen. It's breakout time for Dayton, Ohio, I'm tellin ya.

One other thing of note in the trailer, is the trademark style that makes it a Michael Mann movie. The shots are glorious and crisp and if you listen closely, you can feel a little 'Miami Vice' like vibe as the trailer really picks up.

Yes, it's that sweet.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Jimmy Fallon's Only Highlight


I didn't get to watch the premiere of 'Late Night With Jimmy Fallon'. I missed it because I was too busy watching Jack Bauer blow stuff up.

Apparently there weren't too many highlights. It's understandable though, being the FIRST show. Jimmy Fallon was really nervous and I'm gonna give the whole thing a chance.

The coolest thing about the show, and possibly the coolest thing about late night TV, is that 'The Roots' are Jimmy Fallon's house band. They quit their large-scale touring gig and will concentrate on their gig on 'Late Night'. Everyone was anticipating this move and what they'd possibly do.

Here's an example of the possibilities. It's frickin sweet. There's potential.

(watch quickly. the video probably will be removed.)

Don't Take The Helicopter Mr. President



Marine One, President Obama's helicopter, might not be the best choice of travel in the near future.

Apparently, an employee at Pennsylvania-based security company, Tiversa, accidentally downloaded a P2P file-sharing program that gave the blueprint and avionics package for Marine One to anyone with the ability to do a little computer hacking.

Not surprisingly, Iran was one of the countries supposedly involved in the download of that information.

Most people at work are concerned about visiting TMZ, checking fantasy sports sites, and hiding pictures of Miley Cyrus running during their day. Sucks for the guys that can't download free 'Radiohead' without worrying about accidentally releasing the President's motorcade route for the next 17 months.

That person's probably going to lose their job. Make sure YOU don't do something that retarded at work today.

Would ESPN Fire Bill Simmons?



I love Bill Simmons. He's a great writer, hilarious story-teller, and one of the few guys writing today who I feel always speaks his mind (despite being monitored by the politically correct propaganda machine at ESPN).

Simmons has made no secret of his desire to make fun of his employer. Everyone does it. Leno and Conan make fun of NBC, Letterman rips on CBS, hell, even ESPN makes fun of itself in its own commercials.

Thanks to 'Deadspin' again, I found this nice little Bill Simmons/Adam Carolla podcast. Its uncensored and full of the things Simmons likes to talk about. Buddies, puking, crap, good memories, and making fun of pop culture. It's more uncensored than Simmons ever is allowed to get on ESPN, which begs me to ask, "Would ESPN ever fire Bill Simmons?"

He's always been one of the most popular guys on ESPN. People print his columns to read on the toilet for God's sake. Part of me thinks he's trying to get fired because someone who cares less will pick him up. I sort of would like that to happen. I'd love to see who he'd make fun of if ESPN let him go.

Either way, he's still churning out awesome columns and being entertaining. And who knows if ESPN would ever risk letting him go (God knows a dead person's articles would be better than Rick Reilly's). Just a thought that I've had, along with probably more than a few other people.

Just something to keep an eye on. I'll keep reading no matter what.

Hockey Fight. From Guys On Sleds.


I forgot to throw this up earlier today. It's a normal game of hockey where a fight breaks out. Except for the fact that the guys fighting are guys on sleds. Because their legs don't really work.

I've played hockey before. It's difficult. It's quite possibly the most skill-filled sport out there. Besides curling. The fact that these guys do it on sleds, fire slap shots, and can stop their sleds before crashing into the boards is impressive enough. They'd make me look like Nancy Kerrigan with half a stub for a leg. They also manage to throw one helluva hockey brawl.

Don't feel bad laughing at this video. It's good for you.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Mark Morrison Mondays


Got my coat, blackberry, and keys stolen this weekend. We were hanging out at the bar, I kept checking the table our group had all our stuff on, and then everything was gone. My stuff is replaceable but someone we were with, visiting from Ohio, had her car keys taken with her coat. The car had to get towed to a dealership and a new key programmed.

I spent most of Sunday praying that whoever did it either got hit by a train and dragged 2918 yards to their death or had to watch their dog get repeatedly run over by a UPS truck. I also hoped that that person's family members melted like that crazy Nazi from 'Raiders of the Lost Ark'.

Anyways, here's my dump of schtuff from the weekend. There's no order to it and probably never will be. Who knows why I find it interesting for you. I just do. Mark Morrison is going to present it each week. Yes, the Mark Morrison of 'Return of the Mack' fame. Why?

Because he's the coolest and so was that song.

- 'Sooty' the guinea pig escapes from jail and has 43 kids. I once had a guinea pig named 'Nibbles'. He nibbled on an electrical wire and died. It was a rough day.

- Drew Barrymore might direct the third movie in the 'Twilight' series. Um. Yea.

- The missing NFL players at sea may have been found. Dead. One was a Raider. No surprise. Pirates are real.

- I agree 'With Leather', who paid for President Obama's courtside seats to the Wiz/Bulls? I mean, every penny we can save counts, right? Whose pennies were those?

- Also, Obama's speechwriter is Jon Favreau? THIS Jon Favreau?!?

- Kanye cut his weird mullet-hawk. And he's hanging out with the black Bridgette Nielsen.

- Jimmy Fallon starts tonight as host of 'Late Night with Jimmy Fallon'. I'm gonna give it a chance.

- And Megan Fox is still the most beautiful person in the world. Just making sure.

- Return of the Mack.