Monday, April 27, 2009

Swine Flu

I hate it. Fucking hate it. I don't know what it is, don't give a crap ass about it. Maybe I have it. Maybe that's why I haven't updated in a few days? I have been extremely busy at work. Wayyy tooo busy for my own good.

I will update soon. If I don't die from swine flu first. Word.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Jesus. Manny.



Manny Ramirez is an astounding baseball player.

I'm a Yankees baseball fan, and for good reason. I went to games for 10 straight years and sat behind the Yankees dugout in the first row. I traveled to New York with my father and we'd hang out in that beast of a city and watch the Yankees dominate the game. It was infinitely better than anything you could have experienced in Chicago at Wrigley or Comiskey.

I hated Manny Ramirez when he became a Boston Red Sock. He hit four home runs a game, he had way too much fun when he played the game and he was a terrible outfielder. You could have put an 83-year old amputee out there who would have been just as effective. The dude used to play the outfield with a water bottle shoved into his back pocket. Every now and then he'd play The Green Monster like a master and throw someone out at second. Or he'd cut off a throw from the center fielder to the third basemen for no apparent reason.

For some odd reason though, I always had a little thing for Manny. I guess I wished more players would be like him. Having fun isn't a bad thing. That's what made him and David Ortiz a perfect match.

Past transgressions aside, Manny now plays for the Dodgers. Last night, he hit a home run 67,000 feet out of Minute Maid Park in Houston. I was recently at that park and that train track is easily 120-150 feet up in the air. Maybe even 175 feet. And it's back about 25 rows from the first row of the stands. He hit it out and over the Citgo sign. Jesus Christ.

Manny is 36 and has played 15 years. He has 531 career home runs, averaging 36 a year over the last 5 years. Barry Bonds played 22 years in the majors and hit 762 home runs.

It's highly unlikely but if Manny played 5 more years (including this year) and averaged 35 home runs a year, he'd hit 175 more. That'd put him at 706 and second all-time. Could he play longer? Sure. The dude just hits. He enjoys playing all over so I bet he'd hate to DH full-time in the AL but he could. He wants to go to the Indians and finish his career there and I bet he could hit full-time until he's 45 and still hit at least 20 home runs a year. He's that damn good.

I've never been happier to be a Manny Ramirez fan. I'm just thankful he's not a Red Sock anymore. Kudos to the best pure hitter we've seen in the last 15 years.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Lindsay Soto's Boob Might Pop Out...


...during the middle of a TV interview during the middle of a hockey game.

I've said before and I'll say it again, Versus TV Network is the worst television station in the world. Clearly their director of operations is a six-year old retarded kid with super ADD. Their coverage of the NHL All-Star Game was arguably the worst coverage of a sporting event I've ever seen. The idea of the NHL Playoffs on Versus AT ALL is something that bothers the hell out of me. Every game should be on ESPN or NBC but that's another argument for a future date.

Anywho, the whole point of this story is that Lindsay Soto, Versus' sideline reporter interviewed Anaheim's Rob Niedermayer during last night's Game 3 vs. San Jose. During the interview, her boobs were just hanging out because she was wearing a low cut shirt. She had to cover them a few times to make sure Rob Niedermayer couldn't see all the way down to her bellybutton.

There's two approaches to this whole thing...

A) Sideline reporters should wear some better shirts in case they are in this exact situation. I'll openly admit if Erin Andrews' or Lindsay Soto's breast popped out during an interview, I'd be first in line to see it. However, the whole basis behind their job is that they are great interviewers and are there to focus on the story right? All the feminists insist that the Lindsay Soto's and Erin Andrews' of our world have their jobs because of their talent and brains, not because of their gorgeous looks.

If that's the case, they don't need to wear revealing tops that might showcase some goodies if they lean over to interview a player. During that interview, where she does admittedly do a good job, she took much of the focus away from Niedermayer because she started playing with her boobs.

She should be able to wear a turtleneck and still be as popular and effective because of the great job she does, not because her boobs look great. If not, women need to just admit that people only care about their bodies. (Yikes)

B) This discussion shouldn't be happening in the first place because players should never be interviewed in the middle of the game.

Nascar drivers are interviewed from their car during races, NFL players are interviewed on the sidelines, NHL players get questioned while they are on the ice. It's retarded.

Let them play and worry about the interviews at a different time. Most of the questions are dumb as hell anyways and here we are asking them in the heat of the battle. It's one of the dumbest directions that sports has shifted in in a looong time.

Either way, whatever. I don't care anymore. She's a good reporter, is really hot, and is on Versus. There's the problem in the first place.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Mark Morrison Mondays

Mark Morrison is a bad ass. Since he has nothing much to do nowadays, he spends his time looking for sweet stuff on the internet. Occasionally he gets distracted by watching too much sports and wrestling and he gets lazy. Being 4-20, it's amazing he did any work today at all. He put his pistol and weed away for a bit and came up with these gems. Enjoy.

- More hockey highlights. Here's Boston's Milan Lucic dishing out a cross check to the face in the Bruins-Canadiens playoff series. Lucic was labeled a typical Serbian douchebag, a title that is fitting in a way but not in this case. Lucic simply saw a man on skates coming towards him and cross checked his face. Nothing wrong in my book.

**Playoff hockey seems to be very one-sided in terms of the officiating. The Chicago Blackhawks are getting punched and elbowed and shoved at all times after the whistle by the Calgary Flames and the refs haven't called anything. They also missed a blatant high-sticking penalty at the end of the 2nd Period.

- Remember this commercial? It started the milk ads that you see so often today. Pretty clever commercial, huh? Guess who made it?...yep, that's right...Michael Bay. Yikes.

- I clicked on this movie trailer because it has Evangeline Lilly from "Lost" in it. And she's ridiculously hot and pretty much the perfect girlfriend. But she's not in this trailer. God damnit.

Regardless, this looks like a solid flick. It won a bunch of artsy awards and any time you can highlight and give credit to the men and women in our armed forces who give us the ability to do the dumb stuff that we do everyday, I'm all for it.

- Another movie trailer. This one's about Muhammad Ali. Ali is one of sports history's most lucid and popular characters and you either loved him or hated him. This new documentary showcases the impact of Ali from the viewpoint of 10 of his most acclaimed opponents. The trailer is worth viewing whether you liked Ali or not. He electrified this world in ways no one before him had. It looks beautiful and has some star power behind it. Check it out.

- Jessica Biel is smoking hot. In this movie, she gets a bit naked. Thank you Christ.

4/20 Honor



I don't smoke weed. Sorry...Alcohol? Yes, please.

But for those that do enjoy the blazing, though your day is probably almost over or has been for a while, here's a cool video to watch the next time you consume weed.

Courtesy of vimeo and David Coiffier, this is the I-Movix SprintCam. The I-Movix SprintCam films shows us everything at 1000 frames per second. Yea, its that awesome.

Lollapalooza Lineup Announcement!


The Lollapalooza announcement happens tomorrow...

Rumored headliners include the Beastie Boys, Depeche Mode, a re-united Jane's Addiction, The Killers, Kings of Leon, and Rise Against.

Rumors have been running rampant throughout the country about who is going to be playing the popular summer festival in Chicago and Perry Farrell will put the rumors to rest tomorrow when he goes live on Q101 in Chicago with the official lineup.

He'll be on @ 8am to announce and from what I've heard (from those who have seen it), it's an incredible list of bands. There's a few surprises in there and an overall solid list from top to bottom. I won't say right or wrong on any band but those with an eclectic taste of music will get all their ADD desires served.

8AM. Listen @ Q101.com!

Friday, April 17, 2009

Correction Ma'am. Your Son IS a Piece of Shit.


It's been over a week since Los Angeles Angels pitcher Nick Adenhart and two others were killed in a car accident by a man who had a blood-alcohol level three times the legal limit at the time of the crash.

That man, Andrew Gallo, has spent his time in the Orange County jail since killing Adenhart, Courtney Stewart, and Henry Pearson, and seriously injuring Jon Wilhite. Gallo's bail was set for $2 million and he is set to be arraigned on June 8th.

Part of me hopes he never makes it to that date and is instead killer in jail or commits suicide and saves us all from wasting more tax money on a dumb trial for a piece of shit human being. Another part of me actually wants him to be alive because he will have to suffer through what will be the most painful process a human being will ever have to endure. He will sit through a trial and continually see the faces of the 3 people he killed, while watching those loved ones' families stare through his eyes with burning feelings of hatred and disgust. It's quite the dilemma.

A new wrinkle in this unfortunate circus is that Gallo's family has finally decided to speak on the whole matter. Gallo's mother, Sandra Sagahon, feels her son has been demonized by the media in the wake of the crash and is really a good person.

Here's a hint Sandra...your son is a piece of fucking shit.

"It was an accident," Sagahon said. "He never meant to hurt anybody, ever."

Sagahon is a mother, seeing her son in jail for a horrible crime. He is charged with three counts of murder, driving under the influence of alcohol and fleeing the scene of an accident. He faces 55 years to life if convicted on all charges. It's understandable that his mother is defending him. That's what mothers do.

Unfortunately, for her, this isn't going to turn out well. Her son's life is well over.

Gallo was born in El Monte, California and lived in Baldwin Park, Calif., before his mother and father divorced when he was 5. According to Gallo's father, Andrew took the divorce especially hard.

Gallo bounced around living with both his mother and father, who both remarried others. According to Gallo's father, Andrew found moving difficult and he took up drinking ot help with him "problems."

Gallo's father didn't allow alcohol in the house so Andrew hung out with his stepbrother Raymond Rivera (another piece of human trash), who according to family members was also an alcoholic. Rivera was with Gallo on the night of the crash as well.

Gallo was first arrested in 2006 on suspicion of DUI. He went to a rehabilitation facility as part of his plea deal but Gallo moved in and out of rehab over the next few years. He was in and out of contstruction jobs and supposedly turned in a job application to Sears the day before the accident.

Gallo and Rivera got drunk at a few different bars the night of the murder, though the specific bar they were at before the accident remains uknown.

On his growing up, Sagahon said of her son, "I didn't think he was out getting into trouble. It's not like he was a bad kid or a gang member."

"I don't want another tragedy like this. I don't wish this upon nobody, not those parents that lost their three little angels. Would someone want to be in my shoes right now? I don't think so and I don't wish it upon anybody," she said.

Family members of the Gallo's have temporarily moved to an undisclosed location based on numerous death threats they've received over the last week. They said their son was talking about getting his life together but that doesn't mean anything to anyone anymore.

Three young people lost their life while another one fights for his in the hospital. Like I said last week when this happened, people are dying everyday, all over the world. It's an unfortunate situation. Nick Adenhart happened to be a professional baseball player, so this is magnified even more.

Andrew Gallo, now sits, day in and day out worrying about his fate. If he didn't have demons before, he sure as hell has them now.

"People think my son is a monster," Gallo's father said. "He's not."

Unfortunately, no one will see it this way. Surprisingly, there's enough common sense left in our world that we can and should vilify this young man who tore so many people's worlds apart. I don't care that he suffered through a divorce, I don't care that he couldn't find steady work. Andrew Gallo was screwed up in the head and he was an alcoholic who shouldn't have been roaming our streets. He hung out with a trash-pile of a stepbrother who only fed his darkest problem.

The more and more the Gallo's talk about their 'good' son, the more and more they risk their lives and their son's life. Andrew Gallo was an idiot. He got really drunk, got behind the wheel of a vehicle, and killed 3 people. No matter how many tears he sheds at the trial, Gallo remains a waste of human life. People like him are somehow born, somehow make it through 22 years of life, and somehow transplant their demonic seed in other people's lives.

Lives are ruined everyday by ridiculous pieces of shit that roam our earth. If all the gang members in the world killed themselves off in their own battles, I'd be more than happy. If all the alcoholic drivers killed themselves by driving off a cliff, I'd be more than happy. If child rapists stepped in front of speeding trains more often, I'd be more than happy.

Sadly, they don't. They hurt others instead. I'm sorry Mrs. Sagahon, your son was the ultimate piece of shit.

Matthew Stafford Still Sucks More Than Jay Cutler


I'm a Bears fan. The Bears now have Jay Cutler as their QB. So I could give a sh*t about the NFL Draft.

I hate Matthew Stafford because he didn't turn out to be as good as he was supposed to be at Georgia, yet he might be the first pick in the NFL Draft anyways. I also hate him because Mike Singletary hates him. Mike Singletary basically called him a weiner because Stafford hasn't gotten over his parents divorce and still cries at night about it.

Anyways, Stafford made an appearance on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon last evening and threw footballs through plates that Jimmy Fallon was tossing into the air. Stafford does an impressive job and seems like a good sport so I probably shouldn't hate him as much as I do.

That said, he looks like a fat retarded kid from down south so I definitely would be pissed if my team ended up drafting him. I won't have to worry about that. The Bears have Jay Cutler.

Here's the clip from NBC.com.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

"Funny The Way It Is" - Dave Matthews Band


The Dave Matthews Band has released the first single off their upcoming album, "Big Whiskey & The Groogrux King", for download, available on their website.

The forthcoming album is their first release since 2005's "Stand Up" and the first since founding member, saxophonist LeRoi Moore, died due to complications from an ATV accident.

Whether or not you're a DMB fan now, probably 75% of people between the ages of 14-35 have had a significant portion of their life affected by DMB. Whether it was in high school, college, or the years after, DMB played a significant role in many peoples coming of age. People drink to it, people smoke to it, people make love to it. Dave Matthews Band is a staple in our pop culture world.

The point is, don't dismiss this new album as just another album from the band. The cover art is clearly a tribute to Moore and the songs suggest full emotions were poured into this effort. This will be arguably the bands most significant album release. That's a big statement.

The first single is a classic mix of down-tempo jazz and southern rock that mixes with Dave Matthews' anticipating brooding. The song is a full-effort from the entire band including the new members who replaced Moore.

Give it a chance and relive the glory days from Dave Matthews Band. Whether you move on right after or give them another chance to enter your world again, it's worth it.

Jesus That's Depressing



Here's a photo from Videogum:

If you can't figure out what's happening, a future terroristic warrior is cooking his dinner in what used to be an old Blockbuster Video tape drop.

We used to return late videos into this thing and now some foreign country uses it as an oven. Yikes. That's really depressing.

Part of the reason half the world hates us is because they see how we used to use these things to return dumb movies we watched. Someone inevitably watched "3 Ninja's" on VHS and one day returned it in this exact box (by no means am I implying that 3 Ninja's was bad though). The world laughs at our incredibly terrible taste in movies and sees that we used to produce large metal boxes that would house these returned flicks. Eventually, we got so lazy that we began to rent online, and these drop boxes became useless. So, we shipped them off to 3rd World Country's and airdropped them in like we did in "Operation Dumbo Drop". Next thing you know, the young terroristic warriors are being told by their parents and village leaders that America was a wasteful country who couldn't even use VHS drop boxes! They spit on the drop boxes then proceed to have to cook their food in them because they are too poor for anything else.

And we wonder why people hate us.


** On a side note...there is a light at the end of the dark tunnel we are in. United Airlines announced today that they are banning fat people from flying on their planes. If you can't put the armrest down and can't buckle the seatbelt using ONE seatbelt because you are so fat, you must by an extra seat next to you. If there is no seat next to you, you must get off and wait for a later flight.

It's about time this happens. I'm by no means a totally fit person, but when a fat, smelly person is next to me taking up two seats, that's crossing the line. America is full of lazy, fat, uneducated, unmotivated pieces of shit. It's time we fight back. Fat people are destroying America's health care system. It's so damn expensive for health care because of the fat asses who eat McDonald's 5 times a week and have sex once every 482 years. Why should I have to pay the exact same amount for health care as Charlie Chuckman who weighs 327 lbs? I fully support United Airlines initiative and you should too. Slowly, maybe we can climb out of this dark, dark tunnel we have entered. This is a great first step.

F*ck you fat people.

WTF


Craig Ferguson is hilarious. His talk show is really good but it's somewhat dragged down by lackluster guests and the olden, moth-like set he has.

If I had to rank the late night shows it would go:

1) Any Conan
2) Letterman
3) Kimmel
4) Ferguson
5) Fallon
6) Leno
14) Carson Daly

There are moments though that Craig Ferguson busts out of his so-so show and shows that he is an awesomely hilarious comedian who really could give a crap about anything else. Those moments usually result in hilarious bits, like this one here.

Ferguson has done cold-opens for his show where he just dances around with monkees, puppets, and other weird sh*t. That had been retired for a bit until last night when Ferguson brought back the crazy puppet opening. Prepare to laugh and be really f'ing confused. That's the point.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The Hood Internet


The Hood Internet is an absolutely AWESOME f*cking website.

It's remixes and more remixes. And awesome f*cking remixes.

Here's an example...Beastie Boys Vs. Matt & Kim - "Good Ol' Fashion Rump Shaker"

For your endless entertainment pleasure, I've linked "The Hood Internet" on the right for those of you that spend your nights not spooning hot girls and fat chicks. Enjoy.

"The Cougar" Begins Tomorrow Night


"The Cougar" begins on TV Land Prime tomorrow night.

20 younger men competing for the love of a gorgeous 40-year old woman. The premise is quite simple but it appeals to me for some peculiar reason.

Maybe it's the fact that the 'cougar' is smoking hot. Maybe because it's awesome to see brick-headed guys get tossed to the curb because they are in fact retarded. Maybe it's because Grant & Adam are two twins that I went to school with and they are in the show. Maybe it's because I watched Vivica A. Fox in "Independence Day" this past weekend.

Either way, there's only one thing that matters - you need to watch it. If you like "The Bachelor" or any reality show for that matter, "The Cougar" is probably going to be great. The storyline has worked before and any time something sappy is on, women are going to watch it. The formula for spectacularly ridiculous success is there.

Also the promise from Grant & Adam that they don't disappoint should be reason enough to tune in. Like I've said before, they were the most entertaining, ridiculous, and funny people around during their time at the University of Dayton and they know how to upstage a party. It's their job to entertain and now they get to do it on national television. It won't disappoint.

My TV is set for Wednesday night. Set yours.

Visit "The Cougar" website to get yourself all amped up for the premiere.

Glenn Beck Guest Passes Out

Here's a guest on Glenn Beck's show from Monday afternoon. He didn't do too well. As a matter of fact, he passed out while live on the air.

The guest, David Buckner, is a professor at Columbia University. Talking about the government and the economy, Glenn Beck totally ignores the first, subtle "I'm passing out" from Buckner. Clearly, Glenn Beck believes that his guest was referring to "passing out" because the government appears beyond stupid in this segment of his show and that the numbers would make anyone "pass out".

Then Beck begins to realize that his guest is indeed on the verge of collapsing to the floor and/or vomiting all over the set. Watch it a few times. It's hilarious.

Fortunately, Buckner was fine.

Stone Cold In The Expendables!


Here's the first photo of Stone Cold in "The Expendables", courtesy of Ain't It Cool News (click for bigger photo). It's one photo, not great, and shows an explosion. Eric Roberts is in it as well.

Considering this movie is going to be the most action-packed flick of all-time, this photo is awesome. The cast has Stallone, Arnold, Mickey Rourke, Dolph Lundgren, Jesus, Stone Cold, Eric Roberts, Jason Statham, everyone in the world.

I can't wait to see the trailer for this. It won't be for a long-time, but who cares. Here's a start.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Nick Adenhart


Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim's Nick Adenhart was killed last evening in a car accident. Adenhart had just finished pitching six innings for the Angels and was on his way home or to a club (depending on which news story you hear) when a drunk driver slammed into the car he was in. The driver, a female, was killed instantly while Adenhart was pronounced dead at the hospital during surgery.

I'd post pictures of the accident but you can find those for yourself. The pictures are almost too disturbing and too angering to even bother putting up. I didn't know Adenhart and I don't care about the Angels. I knew of Adenhart because I'm an avid sports follower and I knew he was an up and coming prospect for the Angels. He made his major-league debut last year after struggling through arm injuries on his way to the bigs. He persevered and made it and got his first start. He didn't win the game and proceeded to apologize to his teammates afterwards. Refreshing.

Fast-forward to yesterday when he went to the ballpark, with his dad in the stands, and pitched six innings of strong ball. His mom was on the way to California as well to see her son. Adenhart left the stadium, got in a car, and proceeded to go about his night. His night, and life, came to an abrupt end when a drunk mexican came flying through the intersection and slammed his minivan into the passenger side of the car Adenhart was riding in.

I'll be honest, I'm going to go about my life and probably forget about Adenhart in 2 weeks. I'm saddened by what happened but it has no profound effect on my life. That sucks. A young man, no older than myself, lost his life because of some idiotic prick who should have been in jail or dead, instead of driving around.

We don't live in a fair world. Somebody breaks into YOUR house and you shoot them and guess who gets in trouble? Not the burglar. Someone with a criminal record, convicted of multiple DUIs gets out of jail, proceeds to drink more whiskey, and does guess what? A child molestor spends 20 years in jail and gets out after "serving his time" and finally breaths fresh air. Struggling, he molests and ruins another young person's world.

I've got no patience. Never had, never will. When it comes to our world, there's so much bullshit in it that when I see this crap take place, I get sick to my stomach. Nick Adenhart didn't deserve to die. Not many people his age do. People die and we ask ourselves, why? Instead, miserable pricks like this drunk driver go on living. Sure, he may get his body and soul violated in jail, but that's almost not enough punishment in my book. I'd like to occasionally think that God would have been okay with the punishment child molestor's go through in jail. I like to think God would be okay with me kicking in a criminal's face until it looks like apple sauce. I sometimes wish I could walk around the street and judge people for the miserable f*cks they are and rid our world of their bullshit.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where people "only see good in others". The problem is, not everyone has that good. No matter how many hands we hold and how many haiku's we say, this world isn't going to heal itself. People are born with the devil in them. I say we just take em out back and shoot em like a sick family dog.

Nick Adenhart died yesterday for no reason. Millions of people his age and younger will die today and tomorrow and we'll never even know about it. Getting mad may be my way of coping with it. I wish I could do something about it. I wish we could take things into our own hands every now and then. I know, our world would descend into chaos. I can dream a bit though, can't I?

Nick Adenhart had a dream. He dreamed of pitching in the major leagues and having his parents watch him play professional baseball. Sadly, Nick's dream, and his parents' dream, ended yesterday at the tender age of 22.

More Gaslight...


More proof that "The Gaslight Anthem" is one of the coolest bands ever and will be for a long time. Here's Brian Fallon doing a little performance for SPIN and covering "The Replacements". Watch him perform Gaslight's other hits as well.

As a bonus here's the guys in town for their show at "The Bottom Lounge" in Chicago. And maybe a little hint about Lollapalooza (shhh).

These guys f*cking rock.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

What's a Biffy? It Cleans Poop...

I love bidet's. They are awesome. I've never used one because they creep me out, but I love to know they are around in case of an emergency.

I know women tend to use bidet's more than men (though it should probably be the other way around), but I don't think this video should have been made. There's a women in the street, a bunch of women working out, and a small child. Know what they are talking about? Cleaning their cr*cks. I don't even want to type the word cra*ks because this product freaks me out.

Look at it. It's like a garden sprinkler that you ran through as a child. And it's cleaning your b-hole. I'm ok with people getting all sweaty and working out, but do they have to go sit on a biffy when they are done? Does it get that nasty when working out that a garden hose needs to be used to clean?

And what the hell is the point of that little girl!? That takes this video from totally weird to child-molesting creepy. She can't be older than 8 and clearly she doesn't need a biffy.

Holy sh*t, I'm going to have nightmares.

(But I can't wait to go to New Orleans in May where the hotel I'm staying at has a bidet)

Is This Real?


Here's video of Vijay Singh, skipping a golf ball across a lake, and into a hole. Clearly this is fake. If this would have happened, or if Tiger had done it, we would have seen it 39281 times. Sportscenter and their annoying shitty telecasts would have replayed this until our televisions exploded. But, instead, some pretty good golfer, who happens to be dark (like Tiger) and Indian, does it and I've never seen the video before. Except maybe it happened today or yesterday. But that's not the point.

The video is so poorly shot that it is clearly not real. It's done by some dude named Andres Lopez on a funny little cell phone. Andres has much better things to be doing than standing front-row at a practice round for The Masters. The first shot looked like it went in the water too and rolled onto the green. I can't see anything. I hate this video. Nonetheless, next time I go golfing, I'm going to try this.

PS - The Masters is nice, but who really gives a crap. Tiger is going to win. If he doesn't, some weird Australian guy who is 26 and "entering his prime" will be talked about as a potential challenger to Tiger down the road. Then he'll fade off into the distance, win like one more event over the next two years, and be a nobody. Golf is fricking retarded. It's the most frustrating sport EVER.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Everyone Dueces

Spike Jonze's trailer for "Where The Wild Things Are" is awesome. As a child, that book was an escape to a magical realm. Everything seemed possible and nothing really mattered. But, after growing-up, you begin to realize that it is just a fantasy world. The big, fury, wild things aren't real. Life's practically fake. Everything you've been told to believe turns out to be a lie. It sucks.

You go through life and there's only a few things that ever remain constant. But, you know what one of those things is?

Pooping. Everybody Poops. That's the name of another popular book that people of all ages have read. It's an enticing and incredibly informative book. I only found out that women can poo like 2 years ago. I'm pretty sure some of my friends still don't believe females do.

So, as a follow-up to WTWTA, Jonze is following up with his next movie, "Everybody Poops". Catch the trailer here.

- Speaking of women, Sara Jean Underwood is so gorgeous.

WM 25 The Day After


The Wrestlemania 25 storyline continued last night on Monday Night Raw and it took a nice little turn that wasn't expected. Many people thought Randy Orton & Legacy would take on Triple H & The McMahon's @ Backlash with the title on the line.

Last night, Orton & Legacy were beating down Vince & Shane and turned their attention to Triple H when a familiar face reappeared...That familiar face will replace Mr. McMahon in the Backlash PPV. The Animal is back.

- As for John Cena's "challenge" to The Rock recently, here's The People's Champ in London for his premiere of "Race To Witch Mountain". As you can tell from the interview, The Rock is pretty much done (though his pride might force him to make one more appearance to beat down John Cena).

Monday, April 6, 2009

Mark Morrison Mondays


Wrestlemania 25 is over. I survived, got to know Houston, did some basic stuff. Houston was surprisingly a nice city, though I am using 'city' loosely. There was barely anything going on downtown and that was with WMXXV in town. I can't imagine what it's like when there is nothing else happening.

I'll post a short blog account of the whole weekend with the occasional picture today or tomorrow. I'm in the middle of moving and have no internet access. The fact that the Toyota Center doesn't let cameras with any sort of professional zoom lens in the building also made my picture account of the weekend sort of weak. I'll do my best.

That said, here's some enjoyment:

Black dude, named Grafite, scores a crazy goal. The exciting point here is that it's Germany and they are cheering for an African-American. The fact that any soccer fans anywhere are cheering for an African American is notable since soccer tends to be the most racist sport in the entire world. Grafite pulls some sick moves. The fact he scores the goal by kicking it behind his back is that much more insulting.

The 'Bruno' trailer came out this weekend. This is NSFW and you have to verify your age on youtube to watch it. Let's face it, if you don't already have an account on youtube, you are way to lazy and not cool. So this should be really simple for you.

The only thing cooler than "Running Man" with Arnold Schwareznegger is if it were an actual real-life thing. Thank God we have Ted Nugent for that. From Warming Glow, it seems that Ted Nugent is going to 'hunt' humans and teach them how to survive. If that isn't the coolest thing ever thought of, then Joan Rivers is gorgeous.

Phoenix performs "1901" on SNL. SNL wasn't funny, despite Seth Rogen hosting. Phoenix, was awesome though. Fader provides the evidence.

More Fader fun with Kid Cudi, Kanye West, Common, A-Trak, & Lady Gaga "I Poke Her Face". It's a pretty fun mash-up.

'Fast & The Furious 18' made over $72 million at the box office this weekend. That's total horseshit. Vin Diesel is a weirdo, Paul Walker is an awful actor, and those last two movies were carried by, among others, Tyrese. And it had the biggest opening in April...EVER. That shows you how many losers that think drifting and asian cars with lighting underneath the body are out there.

Lastly, here's the full Wrestlemania 25 report from 411mania. It was a great event, probably 85% of what WMXXV should have been. Taker/Michaels was incredible and so was the Hardy's match. Mickey Rourke also appeared. The lackluster ending between Randy Orton & Triple H probably left a lot to be desired. The show will spill out nicely over the next few months to set up the next series of WWE storylines.

Bonus: Here's Nicole Scherzinger getting ready to perform the opening @ WMXXV too.

Bonus: Here's a story from Filmwad about another Mickey Rourke role in the upcoming future. The great news is that Megan Fox is supposedly in this film too. This excites me.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Wrestlemania XXV


Wrestlemania 25 is where I'm heading. For work.

So there probably won't be too many updates for a few days. Hope you can hold it! Have a great weekend.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Adele on Letterman


Ok, so, I'm going to post this. I know, all male qualities I have, are instantly changing to female parts by watching this but you can't help it. Adele is a damn good singer. Her voice is transfixing and she is catchy. Her productions are strong and they always sound good. She isn't attractive but it doesn't matter. Her voice makes you keep watching.

She performed on Letterman on Monday night. Here's the Grammy-winning Adele. Audioperv did it, which is good enough for me. Sorry if you feel like your balls have disappeared. I had to put it up.

"Oh, wait...Was She a Great Big Fat Person?"


Buffalo Bill is everywhere. A few buddies of mine @ SWSW started watching "Silence of the Lambs" and Buffalo Bill's famous line turned out to be their favorite phrase during the whole trip. SNL did a great parody at the end of February that included Buffalo Bill's character and Bill Simmons mentioned him today in his mailbag.

The dude's everywhere. I can't stop saying, "Oh, wait, was she a great, big, fat person?"

And he does this dance.

Sorry to get psycho on hump day. I gotta get it out somehow.

The Killers cover Bright Eyes



A lot of people are pretty angry that The Killers did this. They want 'The Killers' to all die and burn a fiery death because they re-did this song. The song in question is "Four Winds", originally by Bright Eyes. It's not like the song is overly old, but it's a cult classic. It was also listed on Rolling Stone's Top 100 songs of 2007.

I say, I like it. Conor Oberst, the lead-singer of Bright Eyes, might not, but who cares. It's a decent version of a multi-tiered band and I like it. The Killers are rumored/almost confirmed to be a headliner at Lollapalooza this summer so this serves its purpose. It will for sure be a song they play at Lolla and maybe it will induce rioting.

Decide for yourself which version you like better. Here's the original.

Family Guy From Sunday


Here's this past weekend's Family Guy. If you don't want to watch the whole thing, I suggest fast-forwarding to about the 5:20 mark. Here's the summary to that point:

Meg hugs a huge fat ugly guy with mumps. She gets mumps. She is bed-ridden, so Peter decides to bring in the old TV while wearing a space/underwater suit. Stewie gets an awesome idea.

It's short, sweet, and disgusting.

But it reminded me of this scene, still my favorite Family Guy scene of all-time.

Don't watch any of this if you dislike vomit.