David Letterman Bombshell

In case you missed Letterman last night because you were too busy killing small cats and eating tuna, here's what happened:

- Letterman admitted he has had sex with numerous staffers from his show over the course of many years

- Letterman admitted that one of the people who worked at CBS knew of these sexual encounters and wanted to extort Letterman for $2 million

WATCH HIM ADMIT IT LIVE HERE

Yes, David Letterman has had sex. He's the first person to poke fun at himself for it. Yes, David Letterman is/was being blackmailed by an employer of CBS' who has also probably had sex with one of the girl's that Dave did. Yes, the blackmailer did get arrested because he was retarded.

The crazy thing about what Dave did is that it probably was the best thing he could have done. He came out, admitted what he'd done, and got to the point. He flipped a bitch on the blackmailer. As Dave explains, they set the blackmailer up and the blackmailer got caught and arrested.

Now, basically it leaves Dave to have to deal with the embarrassment this announcement has caused him and his family, including the woman he's dated since 1986 and recently married. That will be tough enough. Now at least he doesn't have to worry about hiding it and covering up the self-described "creepy things he's done."

I like Dave, I don't like Dave. I disagree with his politics but I think he's a talented guy. What strikes me in this whole thing are the retards in his audience that have no idea what they are laughing at. Dave, with all his courage, decided to admit on national TV that he's had numerous affairs with staffers and that someone tried to blackmail him for it.

Dave starts slow and makes numerous jokes about himself and as he begins to dive deeper, the audience slowly realizes Dave actually is really emotional about this. Until Dave openly admits that he has had numerous sexual relationships with some female staff members, does the audience realize, "HOLY SHIT...THIS IS A TOTALLY SERIOUS MOMENT."

I applaud Dave for only once saying, "Now why are you laughing" to his audience. Granted they thought they were in for a late night funny show, but they got so much more. It's unfortunate it took them and their retarded pals so long to realize what Dave was doing.

Also, lastly...this shit happens ALL OVER the place. People sleep with their boss, their co-workers, everyone. Some are in relationships, some are whores, some are just experimenting. Dave happens to host a national television show and admitted it on national television. He's not the President, he's not the pope, he's Dave Letterman. He has explaining to do at home now...nowhere else. He knows what he did was wrong.

Dave can try to move on while the moron who worked at CBS who did this can sit in jail because he had a horrible plan that didn't work.

Well done Dave. Well done.

Between Two Ferns w Charlize Theron...& a Discussion About The WNBA

Probably 3 or 4 of my last 8 posts have somehow included Zach Galifianaksifdsijasi and one of his awesome moments...

"The Hangover" needs no explanation and has put Galifiankis on the map for everyone looking for a dose of hilarious comedy.

I was at a wedding in Indiana this past weekend and the morning after our post-reception hotel party, I took an awesome cab ride with a nice cab driver lady back to my place of residence for my exploits in Indy.

During the cab ride, here is what we discussed:

1) My hair looking neat despite the post-party morning-bed syndrome

2) Sunday being an awesome day because of the Yankees-Red Sox game, the Bears game, and the Colts-Cardinals game at night

3) The Indiana Fever

**side note that the Indiana Fever were the discussion for most of the car ride. The cab driver was a season ticket holder to the Fever and has 8 tickets for their home games. I'm sure that runs her somewhere around $29 for all 8 tickets. Either way, she was super stoked that the Fever had made it to the championship of the WNBA. I barely knew that the WNBA season had started, much less was in the playoff phase of things, but whatever...I dropped some of my sick knowledge on the Chicago Sky (Chicago's WNBA team!) and how much they sucked and we hit it off.

I still remembered that one of the Catchings' sisters played for Indiana and that she probably was happy they made it to the championship...My cab driver said, "Oh hell yea, she cried when they won." She told me Larry Bird bought 8,000 seats and gave them away for free for the final game in the conference finals...I bet that ran him $782. My cab driver is going to Game 3 and 4 of the WNBA Championship next week and can't wait because her list of sweet shit (much like my #2 above) has the Indiana Fever added on to the end of it...If you wanna go, I'm sure thousands of tickets are still available at IndianaFever.com**

- Back to the cab discussions -

4) "The Hangover"

** When we discussed my hair we discussed why I was dressed in a suit, with a pink shirt, a tie, and a spilling cup of coffee in my hand. I told her it was because I had just come from a sweet-ass wedding of love, awesomeness, friends, and dancing.

She said, "You look like hell a little but you look good. Yo hair and shirt are different and that's cool [Enter # 1 and the discussion about my hair]. Did you see Kanye's hair at the VMA's? That was different fo sho. Ladies like Kanye cuz he brought dirrent' in with those pink polo's and crazy hair cuts. Ladies like different and I'm sure the ladies like you."

I brushed that weird comment off and decided to leave out the fact that Kanye drank a whole bottle of hennessey (I don't give a shit how you spell it) before he went on-stage and made poor Taylor Swift shit her pants...

Instead, I responded by saying, "Luckily, I dont feel like too much hell. I feel great actually. I had an awesome night! I don't feel like those dudes from that movie, 'The Hangover' at least".

Here's what happened next:

Cab Lady: "Hangover? What's that movie?"
Me: "You know, 4 dudes lose their friend in Vegas? Comedy..."
Cab Lady: "Who's in it?"
Me: "Um...Bradley Cooper. Crazy dude from Wedding Crashers..."
Cab Lady: "Nah..."
Me: "Um...Heather Graham? Hot blonde?"
Cab Lady: "Oh wait...umm..."
Me: "Dude with crazy beard? Zach Galifiankis? Mike Tyson too!"
Cab Lady: "OH HELL YEA I KNOW THAT MOVIE!! THAT SHIT WAS SO DAMN FUNNY! THOSE DUDES LOST DEY FRIEND AND HAD TO PUT SHIT BACK TOGETHA CUZ DEY NIGHT WAS SO FRICKIN CRAZY!"

Exactly. I'm not sure if it was the Galifiankis or Tyson but she f*cking knew what I was talking about. We talked briefly about that movie before the Indiana Fever became the main subject line.

Either way, the above story serves really no meaningful point other than to point out that Zach Galifiankis is hilarious. If you haven't seen his series called, "Between Two Ferns", check it out. Check here for Spooning With A Stranger 'Between Two Ferns' highlights...

It features him being ridiculous and interviewing celebrities who are dumbfounded despite the fact they know he's joking. He's that damn good.

Here's his most recent installment, featuring Charlize Theron.

PS - I understand I said recent and it was done like over a month ago. The fact I've been working and not updated Spooning With A Stranger means nothing to me. I hope you haven't seen it and can laugh at it. If you have seen it, watch again and laugh.

Super.

PPS - Go Indiana Fever. I hope they win so best cab driver I've ever had has an awesome weekend. Thanks for the ride home too.

Mark Morrison Mondays

Mark Morrison is a bad ass. Since he has nothing much to do nowadays, he spends his time looking for sweet stuff on the internet. Occasionally he gets distracted by watching too much sports and wrestling and he gets lazy. Being 4-20, it's amazing he did any work today at all. He put his pistol and weed away for a bit and came up with these gems. Enjoy.

- More hockey highlights. Here's Boston's Milan Lucic dishing out a cross check to the face in the Bruins-Canadiens playoff series. Lucic was labeled a typical Serbian douchebag, a title that is fitting in a way but not in this case. Lucic simply saw a man on skates coming towards him and cross checked his face. Nothing wrong in my book.

**Playoff hockey seems to be very one-sided in terms of the officiating. The Chicago Blackhawks are getting punched and elbowed and shoved at all times after the whistle by the Calgary Flames and the refs haven't called anything. They also missed a blatant high-sticking penalty at the end of the 2nd Period.

- Remember this commercial? It started the milk ads that you see so often today. Pretty clever commercial, huh? Guess who made it?...yep, that's right...Michael Bay. Yikes.

- I clicked on this movie trailer because it has Evangeline Lilly from "Lost" in it. And she's ridiculously hot and pretty much the perfect girlfriend. But she's not in this trailer. God damnit.

Regardless, this looks like a solid flick. It won a bunch of artsy awards and any time you can highlight and give credit to the men and women in our armed forces who give us the ability to do the dumb stuff that we do everyday, I'm all for it.

- Another movie trailer. This one's about Muhammad Ali. Ali is one of sports history's most lucid and popular characters and you either loved him or hated him. This new documentary showcases the impact of Ali from the viewpoint of 10 of his most acclaimed opponents. The trailer is worth viewing whether you liked Ali or not. He electrified this world in ways no one before him had. It looks beautiful and has some star power behind it. Check it out.

- Jessica Biel is smoking hot. In this movie, she gets a bit naked. Thank you Christ.