Stuff You Never Noticed As A Child

Watch this video. It's super creepy.

British people are f*cking nuts and their humor is weird. This is probably a complete joke. Or it's totally serious and we are all now officially creeps for having watched it.

Seriously, what the f*ck is this? Sesame Street was weird and creepy sometimes. But it at least seemed semi-educational. I watched it as a child and felt smart. I watch the above video and feel like I need to bath and go to confession.

Hockey

The NHL season started.

When your team plays deep into the playoffs for the first time in ages, the NHL off-season is thankfully quite short.

I missed the below hit in the preseason but the newly discovered www.thetwolinepass.com didn't. If you're a hockey fan I suggest checking the site out. It's quite excellent. A nice addition to my bookmark toolbar.

Dion Phaneuf hits Kyle Okposo

Hockey is pretty much the coolest sport on earth, aside from football. And rugby. Ron Artest even goes to hockey games. That's how cool it is.

Also, I posted a Milan Lucic fight from the other day...here's another one. This time he beat the living shit out of Jay Harrison. At this rate, Lucic is going to bloody someone up every 3 days. It's going to be an awesome hockey season.

Happy Monday.

Humpage!

Friday's are awesome. This Friday is super special.

First, you lose the Olympics. That's a perfect start. Chicago didn't even make it out of the first round. That's ripe.

(I didn't want the Olympics. If I feel like it and have time, I'll dive into why I didn't want the Olympics sometime soon. If not, who gives a sh*t. The city of Chicago has enough issues already that the Olympics would have made it 10 times worse. Mayor Daley can't even run an honest city that functions, much less one preparing for the Olympics)

Second, the Blackhawks lose. To the Florida Panthers. The Florida Panthers on some nights can't beat a mentally challenged team of 7-year old children at hockey. But they beat the Hawks today to open the BHawks season. I'm gonna blame it on Helsinki. That's a place in Finland. Does anyone care? That's what I thought.

Thirdly, sweet videos come my way. I posted the video with the kid who takes his shirt off and slaps his classmate earlier. That was classic. This next video is superb as well. It's a little older so you might have seen it. Either way, it's still endlessly funny. The dog has perfect form. Cute little puppy.

Happy Friday...enjoy!!

David Letterman Bombshell

In case you missed Letterman last night because you were too busy killing small cats and eating tuna, here's what happened:

- Letterman admitted he has had sex with numerous staffers from his show over the course of many years

- Letterman admitted that one of the people who worked at CBS knew of these sexual encounters and wanted to extort Letterman for $2 million

WATCH HIM ADMIT IT LIVE HERE

Yes, David Letterman has had sex. He's the first person to poke fun at himself for it. Yes, David Letterman is/was being blackmailed by an employer of CBS' who has also probably had sex with one of the girl's that Dave did. Yes, the blackmailer did get arrested because he was retarded.

The crazy thing about what Dave did is that it probably was the best thing he could have done. He came out, admitted what he'd done, and got to the point. He flipped a bitch on the blackmailer. As Dave explains, they set the blackmailer up and the blackmailer got caught and arrested.

Now, basically it leaves Dave to have to deal with the embarrassment this announcement has caused him and his family, including the woman he's dated since 1986 and recently married. That will be tough enough. Now at least he doesn't have to worry about hiding it and covering up the self-described "creepy things he's done."

I like Dave, I don't like Dave. I disagree with his politics but I think he's a talented guy. What strikes me in this whole thing are the retards in his audience that have no idea what they are laughing at. Dave, with all his courage, decided to admit on national TV that he's had numerous affairs with staffers and that someone tried to blackmail him for it.

Dave starts slow and makes numerous jokes about himself and as he begins to dive deeper, the audience slowly realizes Dave actually is really emotional about this. Until Dave openly admits that he has had numerous sexual relationships with some female staff members, does the audience realize, "HOLY SHIT...THIS IS A TOTALLY SERIOUS MOMENT."

I applaud Dave for only once saying, "Now why are you laughing" to his audience. Granted they thought they were in for a late night funny show, but they got so much more. It's unfortunate it took them and their retarded pals so long to realize what Dave was doing.

Also, lastly...this shit happens ALL OVER the place. People sleep with their boss, their co-workers, everyone. Some are in relationships, some are whores, some are just experimenting. Dave happens to host a national television show and admitted it on national television. He's not the President, he's not the pope, he's Dave Letterman. He has explaining to do at home now...nowhere else. He knows what he did was wrong.

Dave can try to move on while the moron who worked at CBS who did this can sit in jail because he had a horrible plan that didn't work.

Well done Dave. Well done.

Bitch-Slap

I just got sent a video by a few buddies and it's ridiculous. As in awesome.

Watch the kid sitting next to the kid in the white t-shirt. If you notice, he is slapping his buddy on the head behind his own head and blaming it on the kid behind them...

The Wrong Guy Gets the Blame

1) What language are they speaking
2) Why is the teacher(?) sitting with his desk touching the students' desks?
3) Why does that monsterous human being take his shirt off to slap another kid?

Lol, I watched this video 15 times and it gets funnier each view. Enjoy it.

Xbox Project Natal Destruction

I was going to classify this in the movie trailer section but it deserves its own post...

The only reason I thought about including it in movies is because Steven Spielberg is behind it. What is it? It's Xbox's Project Natal development. Basically it's a super-advanced Wii. No controllers, no cords, just you. Your body controls all aspects of the TV, the video game, everything. It's like your in I, Robot. Without the appetite to destroy Will Smith.

The trailer/announcement videos for this project are all over the internet. Here's my favorite gem:

E3 2009: Project Natal Xbox Annoucement

I'm creeped out by this thing. I love Xbox360 but I don't know about my reactions here. I feel liek this is the beginning of the end of the world. On top of that, this video is retarded. Here's why:

1) The little boy should be going to a real dojo to learn karate. He's gonna get his ass kicked in the real world if he thnks beating up a video game sensai works. Just because you knocked out Mike Tyson in Mike Tyson's Punchout doesn't mean he wouldn't put his fist through your head in the real world. Dork.

2) That girl shouldn't be driving. She's way too young and girls tend to be terrible drivers anyway. She's gonna kill herself and the fans at the race track. Look at Danica Patrick. She sucks.

3) Speaking of sucking, dad really blows at pit stops. He's way too into it and looks like a f*cking dork doing it. His daughter, with her bad driving, is gonna be in last place by the time dad gets her out of the pits. Take it easy, DAD.

4) Why are they re-creating Godzilla destroying a city? That looks like a stupid, boring game. And that little kid is stomping around like a down syndrome monster. Why is he scaring the living hell out of innocent Japanese citizens. He's racist.

5) The mom and her daughter look very stupid playing soccer. The daughter almost super-kicks her foot through the TV and destroys all the fun and the mom gives a half-ass effort to block her kick. There's a couch next to you...f*cking dive all out to stop that sh*t. The game probably ended in a tie anyways.

6) I hate kids that skateboard. I hate that kid.

7) Sarah is a bad friend. For some reason, that daughter is Sarah's friend and it's clearly holding her back. Someone is gonna have to bite the bullet and get with Sarah if anyone wants to have a chance of getting with the daughter. Plus, that dress Sarah selected for the daughter looks stupid. You need a new friend.

8) Millard Fillmore! What a retarded answer to use in a demonstration. Plus the dad is looking at his son like he's a retard.

**Also, apparently the white family is playing against the black family who is on the other side of the wall from them. The white family is winning 600-100. Um, racist a little Xbox?

**Also, that wall means Sarah is on the other side of the wall. Why didn't the daughter walk over there and TALK about their dresses for the party? This is why people can't communicate nowadays and talk like retarded cows in public.

9) You don't have to act out the movie on the screen? You can put in a DVD and it plays it for you? You don't get to sit in a straddling position around Demi Moore and play in clay during "Ghost"? Wtf?

10) Lastly, no family is ever as happy as this family is. They play way too many video games, dad is an idiot, and the daughter is clearly getting around the block. If they spent this much time together, they would all be trying to kill each other. This game system cannot make anyone that happy.

Xbox is attempting to destroy the world with this creation. Steven Spielberg is apparently going to make a real-life movie that is going to destroy us all. Thanks Project Natal. Sounds awesome.

Movie Trailer...THURSDAY!!!

"The Book of Eli" starring Denzel Washington

Denzel Washington is awesome. He's always been an incredible actor and he's a good dude. His role in 'Man On Fire' is one of my favorite movie roles of all-time. Simply take a great actor, make him a bad-ass killer, take the one thing in his life that he cares about, have him hunt down the bad people that did it. I liked the movie. It's pure entertainment.

"The Book of Eli" holds similar expectations for me. I want to be entertained. Denzel plays a survivor after a world-devastating war that has desolated earth. His job is to protect, big surprise, "The Book of Eli", which holds keys to restarting civilization. Gary Oldman, the SUPERB, Gary Oldman, plays a villain, hell-bent on destroying the book and killing Washington. This is a perfect match. Denzel as a good guy, Oldman as a bad guy. I mean, Gary Oldman is like, the most super bad-guy actor on earth. "Air Force One" anyone!??!

The movie also stars the super sexy Mila Kunis and is directed by the Hughes Brothers. The Coen's they are not but they did direct Menace II Society, Dead Presidents, and From Hell. This movie is a bit of a new direction for them and the cinematography looks pretty damn good. Denzel looks like a bad-ass again and that at the very least should be entertaining.

People will argue that the film "The Road", starring Viggo Mortensen, is the exact same thing. It's coming out in late November and is based off Cormac McCarthy's Pulitzer Prize Winning book about a post-apocalyptic world.

Whatever, I don't care. Both movies will be good. Denzel's in the top 2 of my list of good movies to see if person X is in them and I'm looking forward to a little God-motivated, apocalyptic, asshole kicking.

"Nightmare on Elm Street" remake

Before you dismiss ANOTHER horror movie remake, check this one out. Starring Jackie Earle Haley (mind you an Academy Award nominated actor), this remake is Michael Bay's continued attempt to take over the world. I love Michael Bay. "Bad Boys" and "Bad Boys 2" are the f*cking best movies ever. I barely can sleep at night in anticipation of the news that Will Smith and Martin Lawrence have signed on for BB3. That said, Michael Bay scary movies are always interesting. You're never quite sure what you are going to get.

"Nightmare on Elm Street" already is higher up on the list of horror remakes simply because of Jackie Earle Haley. The dude can act. Plus he is creepy. Add all the weird creepiness that will come with playing Freddy Krueger and he'll be good to go. You might just have a decent horror movie. Nevermind how someone who gets killed in a dream can get killed in real life. Understanding plots like this one aren't the point. Being entertained is. That's what movies are for, right?

"From Paris With Love"

No, not a new Bond movie. This is John Travolta and Jonathan Rhys-Meyers. Myers is a low-ranking intelligence agent and Travolta is a super-nutso, super-agent who kills a ton of people. This movie looks weird, Travolta looks weird, and Meyers really makes me not give a crap one way or another. Watch the trailer, you decide for yourself.

"This Is It" - Michael Jackson

Love him or hate him, this looks good. Michael Jackson had talent and made some kick ass music. When I saw this, I was sort of disappointed he wasn't going to get one more run of mega-shows to perform in front of the world. Ignore the "too soon" cries and the probability this was released to make bank and give it a shot. It's only in theatre's for 2 weeks and I know I won't want to sit in the movie theatre with the weirdo's that will also be there to watch it. Hopefully it'll appear down the line on a DVD.

"Zombieland"

Seen the ads yet? Seen the trailer? No real explanations needed. Most of the time I love Woody Harrelson. Sometimes I don't. This time, all love. I want to see this movie this weekend. It'll be entertaining. Zombie comedy with lots of potential.

Between Two Ferns w Charlize Theron...& a Discussion About The WNBA

Probably 3 or 4 of my last 8 posts have somehow included Zach Galifianaksifdsijasi and one of his awesome moments...

"The Hangover" needs no explanation and has put Galifiankis on the map for everyone looking for a dose of hilarious comedy.

I was at a wedding in Indiana this past weekend and the morning after our post-reception hotel party, I took an awesome cab ride with a nice cab driver lady back to my place of residence for my exploits in Indy.

During the cab ride, here is what we discussed:

1) My hair looking neat despite the post-party morning-bed syndrome

2) Sunday being an awesome day because of the Yankees-Red Sox game, the Bears game, and the Colts-Cardinals game at night

3) The Indiana Fever

**side note that the Indiana Fever were the discussion for most of the car ride. The cab driver was a season ticket holder to the Fever and has 8 tickets for their home games. I'm sure that runs her somewhere around $29 for all 8 tickets. Either way, she was super stoked that the Fever had made it to the championship of the WNBA. I barely knew that the WNBA season had started, much less was in the playoff phase of things, but whatever...I dropped some of my sick knowledge on the Chicago Sky (Chicago's WNBA team!) and how much they sucked and we hit it off.

I still remembered that one of the Catchings' sisters played for Indiana and that she probably was happy they made it to the championship...My cab driver said, "Oh hell yea, she cried when they won." She told me Larry Bird bought 8,000 seats and gave them away for free for the final game in the conference finals...I bet that ran him $782. My cab driver is going to Game 3 and 4 of the WNBA Championship next week and can't wait because her list of sweet shit (much like my #2 above) has the Indiana Fever added on to the end of it...If you wanna go, I'm sure thousands of tickets are still available at IndianaFever.com**

- Back to the cab discussions -

4) "The Hangover"

** When we discussed my hair we discussed why I was dressed in a suit, with a pink shirt, a tie, and a spilling cup of coffee in my hand. I told her it was because I had just come from a sweet-ass wedding of love, awesomeness, friends, and dancing.

She said, "You look like hell a little but you look good. Yo hair and shirt are different and that's cool [Enter # 1 and the discussion about my hair]. Did you see Kanye's hair at the VMA's? That was different fo sho. Ladies like Kanye cuz he brought dirrent' in with those pink polo's and crazy hair cuts. Ladies like different and I'm sure the ladies like you."

I brushed that weird comment off and decided to leave out the fact that Kanye drank a whole bottle of hennessey (I don't give a shit how you spell it) before he went on-stage and made poor Taylor Swift shit her pants...

Instead, I responded by saying, "Luckily, I dont feel like too much hell. I feel great actually. I had an awesome night! I don't feel like those dudes from that movie, 'The Hangover' at least".

Here's what happened next:

Cab Lady: "Hangover? What's that movie?"
Me: "You know, 4 dudes lose their friend in Vegas? Comedy..."
Cab Lady: "Who's in it?"
Me: "Um...Bradley Cooper. Crazy dude from Wedding Crashers..."
Cab Lady: "Nah..."
Me: "Um...Heather Graham? Hot blonde?"
Cab Lady: "Oh wait...umm..."
Me: "Dude with crazy beard? Zach Galifiankis? Mike Tyson too!"
Cab Lady: "OH HELL YEA I KNOW THAT MOVIE!! THAT SHIT WAS SO DAMN FUNNY! THOSE DUDES LOST DEY FRIEND AND HAD TO PUT SHIT BACK TOGETHA CUZ DEY NIGHT WAS SO FRICKIN CRAZY!"

Exactly. I'm not sure if it was the Galifiankis or Tyson but she f*cking knew what I was talking about. We talked briefly about that movie before the Indiana Fever became the main subject line.

Either way, the above story serves really no meaningful point other than to point out that Zach Galifiankis is hilarious. If you haven't seen his series called, "Between Two Ferns", check it out. Check here for Spooning With A Stranger 'Between Two Ferns' highlights...

It features him being ridiculous and interviewing celebrities who are dumbfounded despite the fact they know he's joking. He's that damn good.

Here's his most recent installment, featuring Charlize Theron.

PS - I understand I said recent and it was done like over a month ago. The fact I've been working and not updated Spooning With A Stranger means nothing to me. I hope you haven't seen it and can laugh at it. If you have seen it, watch again and laugh.

Super.

PPS - Go Indiana Fever. I hope they win so best cab driver I've ever had has an awesome weekend. Thanks for the ride home too.

Woah. Hockey Fights Are Back. And Ties Are Stupid...

Hockey. It's coming back...soon. Like Thursday I think.

I know the Chicago Blackhawks start the season in Finland or Korea or Iran or some really stupid place on earth so I'm not overly positive on when the NHL kicks off their ice charades. It's soon.

Part of the reason I do enjoy hockey is because you can fight during the contest. Make a big hit on the other team's star player? Star player's goon teammate is going to find you and try and slit your throat with his skate.

Marc Savard, one of Boston's superbly talented players got raped earlier in the game by ginger-boy Chris Neil of the Ottawa Senators. Milan Lucic, as noted by his Serbian name of destruction, doesn't like when that happens.

He tries to shove the smaller Neil around and make him mad. Neil responds by shoving back. Lucic, like any good Serb, decides when the puck drops, just to hit Neil in the nuts with his stick.

Neil, like any good ginger, quickly responds because he has no genitalia and begins to fight Lucic.

Lucic gets some good shots in and Neil actually hangs tight in the fight before it ends with Neil's face looking a lot worse than Lucic's.

Either way, it's professional athlete's, who could kill you and me, fighting in the middle of a pre-season game and the refs allowing it. That's why hockey is great. It's a sport full of talent and skill and huge hits and fights. Plus, some teams have hot ice girl cheerleaders too.

** On a side note...the NHL used to have ties. Teams would play 60-minutes of hard fought hockey and then go to overtime. If the teams tied at the end of overtime, the game ended in a tie. That's retarded, I know. Thankfully, nowadays, the NHL forces a short OT, then goes to a shootout to decide the winner. OT is neat. Shootouts are awesome. Ties are for losers.

The NFL, thankfully filled with non-losers, rarely has an OT game end in a tie because the teams are so exhausted from brutally destroying each other that one team usually screws up and allows a TD or field goal or safety and ends the game before OT can end with no scoring.

That leads me to last night's softball game that my co-workers and I played in...

We played our second game of the season, in typical Chicago fall fashion - a little warm weather, diagonal rain, wind, darkness, coldness and dust. We played a good team that got out to a big lead and we came back to tie it up, take the lead, and go back and forth with this team for 6 strong innings.

When the 6th inning ended, tied 14-14, the ump looked at his watch, and yelled, "TIME!! The next game has to start now! Game ends in a tie!"

...what?!?...a tie??? Are you f*cking serious?

We were pissed. Both teams agreed that this sucked. The game before ours went long and we started late. Now we had to end on time so the two teams behind us could play? It's not like it was 0-0 either. Both teams played well and still had another inning or two in them before we had to hit the bar...but nope. Game ended in a tie.

I couldn't imagine being a professional sports player and having to end the game in a tie. NFL football ending in a tie? Rarely ever happens. NHL? Nope, not anymore. Baseball? Aside from the All-Star debacle a few years back, no more ties. NBA? They'll play till 1,000 points are put up or Vernon Maxwell snaps and kills both teams. For Christ's sake I've seen a 3-day Cricket match take place in London so a tie wouldn't happen. And those f*ckers stopped to drink tea in the middle of the match!!

...which leads me to two final points...

1) Ties are f*cking retarded. Two teams go to battle and one comes away a winner. Wars don't end in ties. Sports shouldn't either.

2) Soccer is for weirdos. Soccer games end in ties. They flop all over the field for 90 minutes, scratch and scream at each other, and kick a ball. Soccer games end in ties. Soccer sucks.

That's all.

More Spooning With A Stranger coming soon. I enjoy writing too much to take prolonged breaks for actual real-world work. My plan for fall is to grow a beard, wear flannels, drink hot-alcoholic cider, and write. Hope it works out.

Counter-Punch

One more...it counters the Will Ferrell video from the previous post.

Toby Keith, love him or hate him, is smart.

America is a mess, the world is retarded, and people suck lots of ass. Toby expresses our feelings.

Left or right, Toby has a little message for both. You might hate country music and hate weird puppet videos but I like this bit. I'll be the first person over to Toby Keith's house when Mahmoud Achmadinejad-Fuku-Jihad nukes the world. Toby will have guns.

PSA Speaking Out Against Insurance Companies

Sometimes a cause so important comes along that even the funniest of funny (Will Ferrell - most times) and coolest of coolest (Jon Hamm) speak out to make sure people get the facts.

Below is an important ad Ferrell and Hamm put together to speak out against the Insurance crap that is taking place in this country.

1) Here's the video via Huffington Post's website

* Let it be noted that I can't believe I'm linking to HP's website. Huffington Post is a hellish website that poisons the minds of individuals all over this country. I merely linked to the video on this website so you could understand the seriousness of Ferrell and Hamm's ad.

For those that refuse to click on the bullsh*tty website above, go below for number two.

2) Funny or Die coverage of the Will Ferrell ad

* I don't like linking to the same website over and over, no matter how awesome it is because I don't want it to like like I'm simply stealing all their material. I'm merely condensing all the ridiculous shit that gets posted to the interweb everyday and putting it in a convenient spot on Spooning With A Stranger.

There's a lot your mind has to handle on a day-to-day basis.

If you spooned with a stranger the night before, you have to worry about:

1) Is she pregnant?
2) Um, that was a dude...
3) Do I call again?
4) What was I thinking?
5) Why did I mix Nickelback and drinking?

My job is to consolidate the semi-good stuff and put it in one place so you can easily access it. You have enough to worry about. Life's a fun journey of ups, downs, and moments you'll never forget. There's also moments you want to forget. Fortunately, while you are trying to forget the terrible decisions you made last night or two months ago, Spooning With A Stranger gives you just a little bit content to help you black out for a few minutes.

Anyways, I hope the serious ad above got your attention. Funny or die only does funny and they took exception this one time and did serious. That's how important it was.

Think about it.

** Aside from the fact I stand on the right side of this debate and actually didn't laugh at the above video, I hope you did.

- I think if you fall off your bike, you are mentally stupid and should pay for your surgery.
- If you mispell a word and can't get surgery, clearly you were pathetic at spelling when you were growing up. People who can't spell are stupid.
- We're all screwed anyways. Obama is sinking day by day and Iran is going to nuke the world.

Stallworth/Burress

Spooning with a Stranger is coming back. Work is still busy but the world is making me fed up. I'm not gonna sit around and not get pissed about the fucking jail sentences that Plaxico Burress and Donte Stallworth have gotten for their respective retarded episodes...

A) Stallworth parties in Miami at a night club. He then goes driving with a .126 blood alcohol level...holy shit. Florida's legal limit is .08. Stallworth is fucking wasted.

Stallworth drives into a man who is walking across a highway or something and he kills the guy. The guy splatters all over the place and Stallworth shits his pants and says oh my God I just re-created a Pearl Jam Song. Mind you Stallworth "flashed his headlights and honked his horn to warn Reyes". As Stallworth then described it, "We collided."

People collide with walls and other humans. When you walk down the hallway and bump into John from accounting, you COLLIDED. When a car runs over a human being there isn't a collision. It's annihilation.

Stallworth was suspended indefinitely by NFL commissioner Roger Goodell after the crash. He received a...30-DAY JAIL SENTENCE AND REACHED AN UNDISCLOSED FINANCIAL SETTLEMENT WITH REYES' FAMILY. Stallworth gets 2 years of house arrest, eight years of probation and other restrictions.

Under a recent judge ruling, Stallworth now gets to leave his house to work out with a trainer. His house arrest didn't include the fact he gets to leave for community service, charity events, and work (WHICH IS PLAYING FOOTBALL).

Stallworth signed a seven-year, $35 million contract in 2008 with the Cleveland Browns and for now remains on their roster.

B) Plaxico Burress parties in Manhattan. He gets a bit drunk and accidentally shoots himself while he's in the club. Holy shit. He's fucking retarded.

The gun slipped down Burress' trousers and fired, shooting him in the thight and then narrowly missed a security guard standing nearby. The bullet lodged in the floor and was recovered by a bartender.

The gun was not licensed in NY or NJ, where Burress lived and his license to carry a concealed weapon had expired in May 2008.

Burress was with a teammate, Antonio Pierce, who drove him to a hospital, took the gun home then later returned it to Burress.

Apparently the nightclub and the hospital never notified police that Burress had been shot.

The Giants released Burress in April and Burress pleaded guilty to a weapons charge this morning. Burress received a TWO-YEAR PRISON TERM.

HOLY SHIT?!?! TWO YEARS!? For shooting yourself in the leg? Stallworth can get fucking hammered drunk, drive a car, and splatter a human beings organs all over a highway road and get 30 days in jail and Burress gets 2 years?!?

I hate both of these idiots. Stallworth is a typical athlete idiot and Burress is just a fucking retard. Come on though! Burress embarrassed himself enough when he shot himself in the leg in a nightclub. Two years is a ridiculous sentence! Stallworth got his sentence reduced to 30 days and has had all kinds of concessions made. Burress, on good behavior, could get his sentence reduced to 20 months.

I hate to say it but Burress' attorney, Benhamin Brafman, was right when he said, "This was not an intentional criminal act. In my judgment, a two-year prison sentence is a very severe punishment."

Look, our world is fucked up enough. These two morons are examples of stupid people who do stupid shit and ruin great things that they have going for them. It's unfortunate. People do the exact same things that Stallworth and Burress do all the time. I guarantee you that somewhere in our world today, someone will illegally carry a gun and shoot themselves or something. Someone will drive drunk and injure or kill someone besides themselves. It sucks.

That said, in our world of disappearing common sense, the above doesn't make too much sense to me. A guy kills someone with his car and gets 30 days in jail. A guy shoots himself in the leg and gets 2 years. Seems weird huh?

Here's a recap:

- Fight/Kill Dogs in this country = 2 years in prison
- Shoot yourself in the leg = 2 years in prison
- Drive drunk & kill someone with your car = 30 days in prison
- Get an abortion/kill unborn children = monetary fee


I don't agree with any of it. I love dogs and could never ever ever do what Michael Vick did. I don't own a gun yet but I will and I plan on being a responsible gun owner. I wouldn't bring it to a club. I dont drink and drive anymore. Even two beers impairs your judgement. Public transportation and cabs are the way to go. Plaxico Burress and Donte Stallworth are idiots. They both deserve punishment. They got it and it's SOLELY their faults.

Still doesn't mean our justice system isn't a total fucking sloppy mess.