Thursday, August 20, 2009


Spooning with a Stranger is coming back. Work is still busy but the world is making me fed up. I'm not gonna sit around and not get pissed about the fucking jail sentences that Plaxico Burress and Donte Stallworth have gotten for their respective retarded episodes...

A) Stallworth parties in Miami at a night club. He then goes driving with a .126 blood alcohol level...holy shit. Florida's legal limit is .08. Stallworth is fucking wasted.

Stallworth drives into a man who is walking across a highway or something and he kills the guy. The guy splatters all over the place and Stallworth shits his pants and says oh my God I just re-created a Pearl Jam Song. Mind you Stallworth "flashed his headlights and honked his horn to warn Reyes". As Stallworth then described it, "We collided."

People collide with walls and other humans. When you walk down the hallway and bump into John from accounting, you COLLIDED. When a car runs over a human being there isn't a collision. It's annihilation.

Stallworth was suspended indefinitely by NFL commissioner Roger Goodell after the crash. He received a...30-DAY JAIL SENTENCE AND REACHED AN UNDISCLOSED FINANCIAL SETTLEMENT WITH REYES' FAMILY. Stallworth gets 2 years of house arrest, eight years of probation and other restrictions.

Under a recent judge ruling, Stallworth now gets to leave his house to work out with a trainer. His house arrest didn't include the fact he gets to leave for community service, charity events, and work (WHICH IS PLAYING FOOTBALL).

Stallworth signed a seven-year, $35 million contract in 2008 with the Cleveland Browns and for now remains on their roster.

B) Plaxico Burress parties in Manhattan. He gets a bit drunk and accidentally shoots himself while he's in the club. Holy shit. He's fucking retarded.

The gun slipped down Burress' trousers and fired, shooting him in the thight and then narrowly missed a security guard standing nearby. The bullet lodged in the floor and was recovered by a bartender.

The gun was not licensed in NY or NJ, where Burress lived and his license to carry a concealed weapon had expired in May 2008.

Burress was with a teammate, Antonio Pierce, who drove him to a hospital, took the gun home then later returned it to Burress.

Apparently the nightclub and the hospital never notified police that Burress had been shot.

The Giants released Burress in April and Burress pleaded guilty to a weapons charge this morning. Burress received a TWO-YEAR PRISON TERM.

HOLY SHIT?!?! TWO YEARS!? For shooting yourself in the leg? Stallworth can get fucking hammered drunk, drive a car, and splatter a human beings organs all over a highway road and get 30 days in jail and Burress gets 2 years?!?

I hate both of these idiots. Stallworth is a typical athlete idiot and Burress is just a fucking retard. Come on though! Burress embarrassed himself enough when he shot himself in the leg in a nightclub. Two years is a ridiculous sentence! Stallworth got his sentence reduced to 30 days and has had all kinds of concessions made. Burress, on good behavior, could get his sentence reduced to 20 months.

I hate to say it but Burress' attorney, Benhamin Brafman, was right when he said, "This was not an intentional criminal act. In my judgment, a two-year prison sentence is a very severe punishment."

Look, our world is fucked up enough. These two morons are examples of stupid people who do stupid shit and ruin great things that they have going for them. It's unfortunate. People do the exact same things that Stallworth and Burress do all the time. I guarantee you that somewhere in our world today, someone will illegally carry a gun and shoot themselves or something. Someone will drive drunk and injure or kill someone besides themselves. It sucks.

That said, in our world of disappearing common sense, the above doesn't make too much sense to me. A guy kills someone with his car and gets 30 days in jail. A guy shoots himself in the leg and gets 2 years. Seems weird huh?

Here's a recap:

- Fight/Kill Dogs in this country = 2 years in prison
- Shoot yourself in the leg = 2 years in prison
- Drive drunk & kill someone with your car = 30 days in prison
- Get an abortion/kill unborn children = monetary fee

I don't agree with any of it. I love dogs and could never ever ever do what Michael Vick did. I don't own a gun yet but I will and I plan on being a responsible gun owner. I wouldn't bring it to a club. I dont drink and drive anymore. Even two beers impairs your judgement. Public transportation and cabs are the way to go. Plaxico Burress and Donte Stallworth are idiots. They both deserve punishment. They got it and it's SOLELY their faults.

Still doesn't mean our justice system isn't a total fucking sloppy mess.

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