Jersey Shore

If you haven't heard of it, you are retarded. Or living where Osama bin Laden is living. Jersey Shore is a controversial new show on MTV that is like The Real World, only with guido's and guidette's. I didn't invent that word. The dumb shitheads on that show did.

Basically, it's a BUNCH of f*cking douchebags that our world would be better off without. Nuke. Filled with pee...right into "the Jersey Shore" where these kids are living. No one would miss em.

Since we can't do that and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad hasn't taught me how to make a nuke yet, I watched an episode today. And I was transfixed. Partly because I couldn't take my eyes off of the screen because I felt like I'd never see a group of more retarded people in my life. I was afraid if I stopped watching I'd get smarter and miss something that these dumb fckers did. It was the dumbest 20 minutes of my life / the funniest. I cannot express in proper words, how fcking retarded these people are and how much this show sucks ass / is really awesome.

If you haven't seen an episode, watch them at www.mtv.com or on Thursday nights. Tonight's episode is supposedly the big controversy because it shows one of the girls on the show getting punched in the face. And when I say punched, I mean fkcing labeled hardcore across her stupid fat mouth and face. That said, I don't condone violence against women. Except maybe Nancy Pelosi.

Also, get your super creative Jersey Shore nickname courtesy of Unlikely Words. Mine was Juice Box. There's only like 12 so don't do it too much if you don't like your first one.

As those idiots say in the show, 'Fist Pump' baby.

That's Jersey Shore for ya. Our world is forever fcked now.

Dumping on Tuesday

Saw a Guitar Hero commercial at the bar the other night and couldn't hear it. It looked funny, had Bobby Knight in his underwear, and Metallica. I still can't decide if I like it. Lars from Metallica really does talk like a weirdo.

If you saw the clip of the Blackhawks/Canucks fight yesterday, you saw some awesome sporting carnage. It wasn't an overly bloody or physical set of fights but it was intense. The fact that 16 guys wanted to punch each others face in at the same time also was sweet. Now, we move to rugby fights. I played rugby for a while and I always marveled at how fights never broke out, considering you're encouraged to stomp on another player's face in certain circumstances. The teams sort of have a gentlemen's agreement not to punch each other in the face. Well, when one guy breaks that rule, it usually becomes crazy. Rugby is probably the only sport, other than hockey, where I feel even worse for the refs trying to break up the fight. Enjoy more highlights here.

One more awesome Nike Rugby clip.

I hate LeBron James because I hate Ohio. The fact he can do this though is incredible.

Mike Singletary could care less if your parents got divorced. He's gonna find out if you got over it, are ok with it, or are still acting like a loser because of it. Matthew Stafford apparently hasn't. The dude underachieved at Georgia and might become the Lions QB. He also just added himself to the list of people Singletary wants to spear. Dumb prick.

Here's an idiot. This can only happen in Ohio.

"Cops" is the best show ever. Whenever G4 has 6 hour marathons with "Cops", my TV channel doesn't change. "Inside the NBA" on TNT is also awesome. Here's some fun with the both of them.

Sean Avery still knows how to piss people off. Here's more proof that the NHL is my favorite sport to watch right now. Playoff hockey can't get here soon enough.

In a sport I more or less don't really care about, there's a guy named Lance Stephenson. He's pretty good but also a headcase. Check out his new show on MTV2 from Fader Films. I liked "Two-A-Days" a few years ago; this is obviously a bit different. If anything, watch it to see Stephenson try and fight everyone he ever plays. This kid needs a college coach bad.

Speaking of head coach, Kentucky still doesn't have one as of 3:42pm.

Best music video of the year so far? Where's the unedited version?

Lastly, I saw a picture of his ex-wife earlier today and it jogged my memory. Rony Seikaly was one awesome basketball player.