I'm Caucasian

This video is hilarious.

I'm white and I gave up playing basketball a bunch of years ago.

Enjoy this bit about the NBA.

Check It Out...

The Running of the Mills has begun...

RunningoftheMills.com

New Dave Matthews Band album in its Entirety...

Click the link below to listen to it. It will be released next Tuesday, June 2nd!

"Big Whiskey and the GrooGrux King"

Memorial Day

It's been awhile. I apologize. That might be an unfortunate growing trend with the hot weather months approaching. Not by my choice either. Like I've said, work is a full-time thing. Blogging isn't. I'd love it to be. But that's not quite a realistic option. Is it?

I can't pass up the opportunity to praise America and condone every other place in the world though. Today is Memorial Day and we celebrate the people who keep this country safe and allow us to do the dumb things we do day in and day out. War or not, supporting our troops cannot be overdone. Whether it's Iraq, Afghanistan, Idaho, wherever, the people who fight in our Armed Forces deserve more support, everyday, than anyone, anywhere, every second. The things they do, the things they see, the things they sacrifice, for us, can never be repaid. And for that, I pray for them and thank them.

We could live in France. We could be countrymen with Cristobal Huet. Can you imagine that? I'd rather live with an AIDS-infested dog who bleeds all over the place and humps my leg than be a Frenchmen and say I'm friends with or respect Cristobal Huet. America is the only place in the world that matters and the only reason it matters is because of the people who serve us in our Armed Forces. Timeless thanks and endless blessings for them and USA.


A few brief highlights for our Monday Link Dump:

Bruno has a new trailer. I'm really pissed about his hair since it's different from the show. But whatever. This is brutal and it's going to be hilarious. And it'll piss a lot of people off. Which is awesome too.

Megan Fox is great for America.

Even under approaching robot death, Megan Fox. America.

Sherlock Holmes trailer starring Robert Downey Jr. & Jude Law. I love Sherlock Holmes. Mystery, murder, all that stuff is sweet. I still can't tell if Guy Ritchie is heading down the "Snatch" route to try and make this semi-funny or not, but it looks entertaining. Aside from the fact Sherlock Holmes looks like he could beat up Ironman, I'll give this a shot.

More proof that Ohio tends to be the dumbest state in our entire country. Figure 8 Bus Races are entertainment in Ohio. This is one that goes bad. This isn't Dayton or Cleveland or Cincy either. This is Columbus. Every city in that state has now proven itself retarded.

Here is Martin Havlat video if you haven't seen it yet. He got destroyed (cleanly) by Niklas Kronwall the other night in Game 3 of the Red Wings/Hawks series. The Hawks won that game but got their ass kicked yesterday by the Wings and appear to be on their way home. Oh well, it took the Bulls a few years to get passed the Pistons and when they did, the wait was well worth it.

Lastly, a Memorial Day tradition. WWE's Tribute to the Troops takes place in December. I think the WWE does that so people remember our serving forces in December too, not just today. Say what you want about the WWE and Vince McMahon. No one else does this shit. And our troops couldn't be more thankful. Here's last year's video from the WWE's visit to the Middle East.

The Chicago Blackhawks Are in the Western Conference Finals

Holy crap. What a hockey game last night. In Pittsburgh...

In Chicago, holy crap, there aren't even words to describe what's happening there...

As the NHL's signature superstars Alexander Ovechkin and Sidney Crosby turn their Washington/Pittsburgh series into a fitting NHL Classic, Chicago welcomed their own superstars onto the national stage.

Former #1 Draft Pick Patrick Kane joined Ovechkin and Crosby as the only players to post a playoff hat-trick in this year's post-season, as the Blackhawks won 3 games in a row to knock the Vancouver Canucks out of the playoffs and advance the Blackhawks to their first Conference Finals since 1995.

Kane has been Blackhawks captain Jonathan Toews' sidekick this season, but last night was his coming out party. Helping bring the Hawks back from one-goal deficits twice in the 3rd Period, the young Hawks star couldn't have imagined a better time to get his first career hat-trick. Toews had quite an impressive game as well, scoring two goals and adding an assist.

The young Hawks superstars have Chicago hockey crazy and on the verge of the unthinkable, especially looking back just two years ago.

The Hawks were the most awful franchise in Chicago and often found themselves at the bottom of the lists of sports teams in ALL of sports. Two years later, the Hawks have taken over the city of Chicago and brought the NHL back to the forefront of sports.

Whether or not the Hawks make the Stanley Cup Finals (they will play the winner of Anaheim/Detroit), this playoff run for the Hawks will go a long way towards determining the future of the Hawks franchise. The young players that have progressed through this season and now into the playoffs have a taste of what it takes to not only make it to the playoffs, but how to win in the playoffs.

The funny thing about sports is that you can have one great year and never make it back to the playoffs again. Hopefully, that doesn't happen to these Hawks. They have a phenomenal young core and should only get better. Playoff Hockey is alive in Chicago and this city couldn't be happier.

The Hawks destroyed Canada (f*cking Canadien pricks) and now I say, bring on Detroit! No playoff run is complete without going through the Red Wings. That'd be the only fitting ending.

Other than the Stanley Cup that is.

Megan Fox Mondays

Just some new movie trailer alerts. All the other crap on our Monday mind is contained in the Mother's Day dump.

- H2 Trailer. Rob Zombie's vision of Michael Myers is finally here. Re-telling the story and forming a new vision for the future, Halloween gets a slight makeover and looks ready to rock. Rob Zombie might do great things for this franchise.

- Disney's "The Princess and The Frog" trailer. Anything Disney will always be at the top of my list of awesomeness. All things Disney are the greatest things in the world. Disney World is the world's best place, Disney movies are the world's greatest stories. Walt Disney's vision and creations are second only to God's on this wonderful earth. 

Showing brief clips of legendary Disney films like Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast, The Little Mermaid, and The Lion King, Disney's next new film tells the story of the kiss of all kisses. Every childhood fairy tale involved a princess, a prince, and usually a frog, and Disney is bringing that tale to the big screen. Featuring Oprah, Terrence Howard, and John Goodman, the new Disney film will hit screens in December. 

- "Public Enemies" updated international trailer. The cast for this movie is out of this world. Johnny Depp, Christian Bale, Marion Cotillard. The director, Michael Mann, is legendary. The plot, John Dillinger and bank robberies, is perfect. This movie has all the makings of a great film. Shot partially in Chicago, "Public Enemies" is one of the summers most anticipated films. This updated trailer brings the plot line around even more, including scenes with Depp & Bale together. 

Mann has always been an incredible director and this era and this storyline is perfect for his filming abilities. The rich look of the film lends a lot to Mann's style and creativity and is sure to look beautiful on screen. Mann's talent should blend perfectly with this movie. This film has the makings of a classic. 

Happy Mother's Day

I hope everyone had a great mothers day.

I got my mom a new ipod because she filled up the old one with a ton of random crap. Now she can play around with a new touch and fill it up with a tons more cool crap. For some odd reason I couldn't download the lightsaber application though. I know my mom will love to play with a fake lightsaber on something that should play only music but also does millions of other ridiculous things like have lightsaber applications. Whatever.

My only observation from Mother's Day was the fact that I saw millions of Indian people at California Pizza Kitchen during lunch. I'm not sure if there was some special thing going on but as I looked around I noticed tons of Indian families. Sure California Pizza Kitchen is really good but I've never been in a restaurant (other than India House) where I'm the minority to a bunch of Indian people. God bless them on Mother's Day but it was a weird situation. I had no idea what the f*ck was going on.

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This isn't exactly a new feature or something that is inspired by Mother's Day (certainly not this song) but I am going to try and upload new songs/music videos that I currently am enjoying. Our first song is "Death of Me" by Red. I usually listen to this song when I'm murdering giraffe's and kicking squirrels and racoons in alleys and now I've come across the music video. Whenever I listen to intense rock music I usually imagine myself running from serial killers chasing me down the street and this video depicts exactly that. Plus it's a fun f*cking song. 

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Also, a few other sidenotes from Sunday:

- Glen "Big Baby" Davis hit a winning jumper for the Celtics against the Magic in the NBA Playoffs on Sunday. The fact he hit the jumper is funny since he's a huge fat ass. He has played well since Kevin Garnett got injured but still he's a mega douchebag. He cried one time on the bench when Kevin Garnett yelled at him during a game. You don't cry when you're 6'8 429 lbs. FAT BABY. Also, if you catch video of Davis hitting the winning jumper, watch after he makes the shot and turns up court to celebrate with his teammates. Davis runs into a small boy sitting courtside by the Magic bench and almost kills the kid. The kid gets his hat knocked off and looks at Davis like he just happened to get run into by a gigantic, sweaty, hippo. That kid's gonna remember that shit for the rest of his life and probably murder Davis one day while listening to "Death of Me" by Red. It all comes full circle, see?

Speaking of Garnett, when Davis hit the jumper, video of the Celtics bench shows Garnett saluting the Magic bench and making that retarded face he's begun to make in the playoffs. It's the face where it looks like he's constipated and pushing shit into his pants because he's too injured to play. It's really the only reaction he can do nowadays since his body is so damn old and any other motion or reaction will cause him to severly injure himself even more. Garnett has cemented himself as another piece of NBA trash in these playoffs and its unfortunate because he was once a greatly respected NBA player. Now he just makes faces at the other teams benches because his body is equivalent to that of a 67-year old man. Fucking prick. 

- Staying on the sports stuff, what the hell is going on on Sportscenter tonight? The anchors are tapping each other out like a WWE match and all the segments just keep running together. Steve Levy starts the show and Tim "I'm a huge retarded piece of NBA castoff shit" Legler comes and taps on his shoulder and takes over the segment. Legler continues to talk and Barry "I'm the coolest dude on the planet" Melrose taps Legler on the shoulder and begins talking about hockey. This went on for the whole show. It was really f'ing weird.

- As for hockey, Melrose came on Sportscenter to talk about the Boston Bruins/Carolina Hurricanes game that happened on Sunday. During the game, which Boston won 4-0, Carolina's Scott Walker sucker-punched Boston's Aaron Ward in the face after the whistle had blown. Ward had to leave the ice and word is he has a broken orbital bone. 

There's no real idea why Walker did it but it was clearly a sucker-punch and one that will most likely land Walker on the bench for at least 5 games. It's unfortunate because right now there is nothing more in the world that I want than for Walker to get a skate blade to his eyeballs. 

Hockey is that great sport where retaliation really does hurt and Walker deserves to have his face beaten in with a hockey stick. Boston, down 3-1 in the series going into the game, suddenly has a bit of life and an even bigger reason to kick Carolina's ass. The ridiculous hit on Ward has the team fired up and ready to fight this war with Carolina and potentially win. The series was slowly crawling to a boring finish and now has new life. As usual, the NHL Playoffs never disappoint. As for Walker, I hope he had a terrible Mother's Day. I bet his mom's a bitch too.

- Lastly, here's a video you've probably seen. It's blown up on the internet today and continues to make people believe that SNL still has some value. Andy Sandberg & Justin Timberlake are brilliant. Happy Mother's Day and have a great week!

New Trailer Alert

Here's an extended trailer for "Terminator Salvation". The clip is 4 minutes long. The movie looks really good, but I can't get over the PG13 rating. That's boring.


Here's a clip for a new Woody Allen movie starring Larry David. It's impossible not to look at David and think of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" but who cares. Looks decent but I'd probably just wait for the new season of "Curb."

Susan Boyle

So all I've heard about is Susan Boyle recently. I can't look somewhere that isn't listing her "viral videos" as the most viewed in the history of mankind, etc, etc.

I thought maybe she was some gorgeous, young, British singer who took over "Britain's Got Talent" like that fat, yellow-toothed guy did a few years ago.

Totally wrong. She's old, looks worse than the homeless pigeon lady from "Home Alone 2" and has a uni-brow. Doesn't matter.

She can sing like hell. Here's a video of the latest sensation from "Britain's Got Talent", Susan Boyle, singing the song that has made her one of the most popular viral video stars in recent memory.

Manny Suspended

Manny Ramirez has been suspended for 50 games for violating Major League Baseball's drug policy. No idea what it was. Manny claims its from a medication his doctor gave him. Not steroids. Either way, this sucks. For LA, for MLB, for Manny. The guy is a great hitter. Plain and simple. I believe it wasn't steroids.

How many damn drugs are forbidden by the MLB? I want to see a list. Shouldn't doctors of professional players know every single thing that is on the list of suspendable substances? Weird.

Hilarity with Zach Galifianaksnakssus

I know his name isn't spelled like that but I'm too lazy to see the spelling and I've got a really important date that's happening shortly. I'm nervous so this video did a really good job of making me laugh. Thanks Zach.

The guy I sit next to at work's makes videos and looks a lot like Zach Galifianakis and everyone calls him Zach Galifianakis. It's even funnier when these videos come out.

In this video, Galifianakis uses his impeccable interviewing skills to get to the core of who Natalie Portman is.

Natalie Portman is Between Two Ferns.

Three Things...

Absolutely dumbest website of the day/month/year/ever:

www.thingsIdidlastnight.com

Pretty cool website that makes you laugh and say "Yikes, I've done that":

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

Totally awesome website that makes you pee your pants laughing and say I hope that's not real otherwise you should probably just kill yourself:

http://www.fmylife.com/

Megan Fox Mondays UPDATE

Here is the reason it is much more fun to have our link dump presented by Megan Fox and not Mark Morrison. Thanks Egotastic.

Here's the new video to her June Esquire photo shoot. Shot with the brand new Red One Camera, it is stunning.

And here's the link to some stills...Enjoy.

Megan Fox Mondays

Ok...so it's been awhile. REALLY sorry about that. Life is sometimes busy and until I get paid to do this full-time, it won't always be the first thing I have going on in my life.

That said, this is my release. I get to write really stupid things about mostly stupid people. And mostly stupid things.

I'm pretty sure I never even published my link dump from last Monday. It's sitting saved in my folder waiting to be published. In it, I mentioned the following:

Screw Mark Morrison. He's cool, but not nearly as cool as Megan Fox. She is gorgeous, endlessly attractive. For the time being, she is going to present our Monday link dumps. There isn't a moment that goes by in the day where I wouldn't cut my fingers off and swim with chum covering my body if that meant I could spoon with Megan Fox. Her presenting the Monday link dumps will include, if possible, the most recent smoking hot photo of Megan Fox. This week's is from last week's. It's her on the set of her new movie "Jonah Hex". That's the easiest way to brighten a Monday up.

I talked about the NFL Draft & how Michael Crabtree is going to dominate with Mike Singletary as his head coach. I mentioned Michael Oher being drafted into a wonderful family organization like the Ravens and how he deserves all the best. And I said that Quan Cosby and Bill Cosby's skits were hilarious...but that was last week. Spooning With A Stranger is about the present. Nothing in the past should be changed bc at the time, it seemed like a smart idea.

...So, I bring you, Megan Fox Mondays:

- As mentioned before this, Manny Pacquiao beat the shit out of Ricky Hatton. Back in Decemeber 2007, I cheered for Hatton to take out Floyd Mayweather Jr when they fought. I just couldn't stand Mayweather's attitude. There was something remarkable about his abilities though. I didn't entirely dislike him. Regardless, Mayweather beat down Hatton in the 10th round. Mayweather retired and hasn't really been heard from since. Until recently.

Pacquiao beat Hatton's ass and now comes news that a) Mayweather owes $6 million in backtaxes and b) his ego wants to fight Manny Pacquiao.

It's simple, Pacquiao is the most dominant fighter around and is the pound for pound best fighter in the game. Mayweather lost that claim when he retired and never challenged the sport's "best" fighters (until Hatton). Now Pacquiao has dominated Oscar De La Hoya and Hatton and is the king. Pacquiao has numerous suitors claiming their next but none bigger than the potential Mayweather-Pacquiao match that could happen if Mayweather defeats Juan Manuel Marquez. Boxing scene dives into the potential matchups in a bit more detail. For our purposes here, it's all about Mayweather-Pacquiao.

Mayweather-Pacquiao is the ultimate good guy vs. bad guy fight. Pacquiao is the quiet, humble champ who will fight anyone, anywhere, any weight class. Raised in the impoverished streets of the Phillipines, he is now figuratively the king of an entire country's hopes and dreams. He brings his friends and family into his life and lets them take all the spotlight.

Mayweather on the other hand, is an American-born fighter who grew up in the world of boxing, surviving the tough streets of Grand Rapids Michigan and the various places he bounced around while growing up. Mayweather is estranged from his father, who taught him everything he knows, and lives an outgoing lifestyle full of boisterous claims and all the riches he can possibly afford.

Mayweather talks his shit and pisses people off. He backs it up usually. Pacquiao lets other people talk their shit (mainly his opponents and own trainer) and then just beats the shit out of them.

HBO's award-winning series 24/7 could present an incredibly gripping look at the various personalities of two of boxing's biggest superstars. The potential for a Mayweather-Pacquiao fight is out there and hopefully a few cards will fall into place. It will be an epic battle and an epic promotion leading up to it.

Boxing is often thought of as a dying sport. With these two figures heading down the road to a showdown, they will breathe plenty of life into a once spectacular American pasttime.

- NEW TRAILER ALERT. An updated trailer for "GI Joe" has hit the internet. It looks much better than the Super Bowl teaser spot but it still looks fucking ridiculous. My GI Joe's never had an "accelerator" suit and they couldn't dodge missiles like Transformers. Any dude has to give this movie a chance so we'll see. Looks weird though.

- NEW TRAILER ALERT. Updated "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" trailer. Stephen Speilberg called this movie "awesome" after he saw it and I have high hopes for it. The action looks even more intense and Megan Fox does look hotter than ever on her motorcycle. Definitely better than the GI Joe trailer.

- I haven't mentioned A-Rod since the steroid stuff began. I said my piece on it and nearly went on a serial killer killing spree after that. The talk died down as the season began and as A-Rod gets close to his return, here we go again. Selena Roberts', Sports Illustrated's writer who leaked the whole steroid issue, is back at lobbing allegations against A-Rod. Her "biography", which is by no means an official A-Rod biography since it's interviews with random acquaintences and people, is having its release date pushed up. Roberts claims A-Rod did steroids in high school and college and has done them all his life.

Despite high school and college coaches and teammates defending A-Rod, Jason Whitlock writes an interesting piece on Roberts' past credentials, including her interesting piece on the entire Duke Lacross scandal.

Whitlock, a very influential writer from KC/ESPN, is a guy I've had my beef with a lot in the past. This piece though, examines Roberts' credibility and ESPN's penchant to run with random stories (true or not) as long as they generate notoriety.

For the record, I think Roberts' is an attention-craving bitch. There goes my credibility.

- My roommate Kevin has a really funny looking finger from rugby. It's gnarly but isn't nearly as gnarly as Torry Holt's finger. As "With Leather" suggests, if you've eaten any food in the last few hours, don't watch this clip.

- NEW Spoonless Night Addition: topleftpixel.com

This is an endless amount of awesome photography. Some photos can be rolled over with your mouse and you can see different stages of the photograph/background. Prepare to spend way too much time here if you like photos.

- Last night's "Family Guy" courtesy of Hulu.com. Stewie does steroids and they really hit the nail on the head with this one. This one should entertain you.

Monday Dump...

Before it's removed, here's the link to Manny Pacquiao's 2nd-round knockout of Ricky "Fatton" thanks to The Smoking Section.

I'll discuss briefly later, but want this up before it disappears.